Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Floods n Such

Walking around by the flooded areas here in town makes me think. Mostly it makes me think people are stupid.

If you build a sandbag levee to keep out flood waters, please fill the sandbags only 1/2 full, then tie shut or fold over the top as you stack in a way that allows the sand and bag to settle into complete contact with those below it. If you fill the bags tight as a DRUM, then tie TIGHT so they hold a nice sausage shape, the bags will just pile up leaving holes between them that I could stick my arm through. If my arm will go through, so will water. If you MUST fill your sandbags tight, then you need to use tarps too, but that's more complicated and you'll screw it up so never mind and don't expect me to come help you.

If there is water going across the road and lapping at someone's stoop, DON'T drive your freaking SUV through it fast because it's fun. It also forces water into these people's homes. Douchebag.

Don't swim in flood water it's full of crap. Often literal poo.

If you must ride your bike through it because you are a douchebag, at least don't splash the old people who wheeled their chairs out of the old folks home to see the flood and talk about how it isn't as bad as the floods of their youth.

Stop hassling the geese and ducks. They've been flooded out of their homes too and are trying to find a place to settle the young'uns in for some rest. If you keep chasing them in the water, they get exhausted and die. It is a hunting method known as 'persistence hunting' and it's very effective at killing things so stop it. Remember, you are not the only person hassling the critters.

If you MUST come down and look at the flood from your lovely uphill neighborhood, don't walk through people's yards and look in their windows. It's rude. Douchebag.

OK, I think that is the entire flood rant.

1 comment:

Fly Right said...

I'm glad to find that you get as upset with asinine people as I do. I don't call them douchebags, though. Maybe I will from now on. . .