Monday, May 22, 2017


Seriously.  I was planting the final set of tree starts for this year and I can't find one of them.  I KNOW it got planted...but where.  There are about 4 good locations and I've check them.

I may have to use my mad archaeology surface survey skills and walk a tight transect pattern over the entire acreage.   Dang it.

If anyone has seen a twig in the ground without a stake and a label, let me know.

Friday, May 12, 2017

White Trash Craftery™ Part Deux: Hummingbird Feeder

"Deux" is Paris talk for "2"

So, I was spending a day INSIDE (inside the wee shome) because I was sick of humanity.  More so than usual even.

I decided to watch movies, listen to the radio, talk on the phone with carefully selected others, and do crafts.

Crafts.  Tiny shed home.  I used what I had.

A left over jar with a sturdy screw on lid

Turns out I LOATHE caviar.  It tastes like salty fish slime.  But it was on sale and I wanted to try something new...and it was in a cool tiny jar that would be handy for something.

A used bottle with a sturdy screw on lid.  It looks like I used a wine bottle but it was actually filled with stevia sweetened sparkling apple juice.  Also, on sale.  It cost less than the jar of nasty salty fish slime.  I will be keeping an eye out at the recycling center for cool bottles and jars.

A coat hanger (wire).
Duct tape (optional)
A bit of glue or silicon sealant (probably optional)

Tools needed:
Scissors (optional, you could just use the knife on the leatherman or your teeth).

Step 1: Wash the jar and the bottle very well, but don't bother picking the label off the bottle unless you want to.

Step 2: Use the screw top of the bottle to make a circle more or less in the center of the jar lid.
Use the olde tyme bottle can opener thingy on the leatherman to cut a cross from the center of that circle to not quite the edge of the circle.  You want the bottle top to hold the jar lid onto the bottle.
Use the needle nose pliers thingy on the leatherman to tear off these little tabs you just made, still trying to stay inside the circle you drew.  The pliers can be used to fold back, toward the inside of the jar, and pinch the sharp bits from tearing the metal.

Step 3: use the tiny screw driver or punch thingy on the leatherman to make little holes about 1/8inch in diameter around the lid.  I made 4 holes.  A couple were a tad big but that can be corrected later with the duct tape.  Punch the holes from the outside toward the inside so you aren't creating little hummingbird beak stabbers.

Step 4: use the rasp thingy on the leatherman to mash down and smooth out any sharp bits on the jar lid.  When you can run your finger over it and not get cut, it's probably good enough.

Step 5: Use whatever portion of the leatherman works to make a biggish hole in the top of the bottle lid.  Smooth off any sharp bits as above.

Now it gets complicated:

Step 6:  Push the jar lid over the top of the bottle threads.  You want the top of the jar lid "up" when the bottle is upside down.  Once you get it part way on the threads, start screwing on the bottle lid to push the jar lid along firmly.

Step 7: you can put a little ring of glue or silicone around the seam between the jar lid and the bottle lid if you want.

Step 8:  Screw on the bottom of the jar and admire your work.

Step 9:  Use various parts of the leatherman to twist a wire coat hangar around the bottle so you can hang your contraption up, jar at the bottom, rear end of the bottle facing the sky. (Duh)

Step 10: Optional decorative crafty bit!  Find some random British flag duct tape you forgot you had (how do I lose things in that tiny space?), use scissors, the knife thingy on the leatherman, or your teeth, to get rid bits out of the tape and apply these to the jar lid, keeping the  holes open.  I strategically placed some of the tape to smallify the holes that were a bit large.

And Voila:

Mix up some hummingbird food and you are in business!
Unscrew the jar from its lid, use a funnel to fill the bottle.  If you take the bottle lid on and off you will loosen up the jar-lid-bottle-lid joint that is crucial to the White Trash Craftery™ Hummingbird Feeder longevity.

There was a rufous hummingbird at the feeder within an hour or so of hanging it up.  Perhaps sooner since I was elsewhere on the estate for a bit.

Friday, May 5, 2017

Take that MotherFlicker!...White Trash Craftery™

No, a FLICKER.  The bird.  The bird that is destroying me wee shed.

It, or they, has/ve been pecking holes in the cabin for a while.  I covered the first batch of holes with the bits of metal I had on hand...muffin tins from the thrift store.  That looks sort of cute actually:

THEN the stupid motherflicker (I'm assuming it's a parent trying to bring home the bacon/beetles to wee ones), moved to another side of the cabin and spread out the damage.

I was out of muffin tins.  Didn't want to move to loaf pans.  Or baking sheets.

I thought perhaps SHARP would be a benefit.

I had a couple of #10 cans from the recycling center that I'd had plans for.  Plans that were never executed.  So I though perhaps I could use the tin snips to cut strips from those and hang them (White Trash Craftery Rule #1: use what you have).  As I am cutting up the first can, I figured out that hanging 10 strips from the eaves would be complicated and I would never get around to it  (White Trash Craftery Rule #2: plan for your inherent laziness).  The remaining can got flattened out.  The seams on the sides cut off.  Then I cut it as though making a garland out of a sheet of paper. I couldn't find a diagram of this on the internet so I made one for you special.  Just like the actual product, the cut lines (shown in green) are unevenly spaced and crooked.  I'm not bothering with neat work for a stupid motherflicker.

Once you make the cuts, you just pull the ends apart...voila, instant sharp jaggedy metal garland for free!

It was definitely sharp.  I wouldn't stand on it to bang my face into a wall, but I'm not a flicker.  
To put it up, I started a nail through each end, stood on a slippery metal cooler on the weakening boards of my shabby stoop, and tried not to let anything hit my eyes (the safety glasses were clear down in the a quarter mile away (White Trash Craftery Rule #3: Safety is secondary)).

Here it is:

It's blocking the view of the worst holes but you can see a smaller one above the Flicker-B-Gone™ garland and how it has been stripping a few of the battens on my board-n-batten siding.  As it happened, the #10 can had a coppery inside and a silvery outside so this turned out to be more interesting looking than I'd planned.

Of course when the wind blew I was awoken in the night by a mysterious metal rattling sound.
I think that means the Flicker-B-Gone can also be labeled as Wind Chimes.

I'm thinking that putting a few of these along the top of the fence between me and the rest stop might deter ne'er-do-well types.  That makes it both a "Flicker-B-Gone™ " and a "™ ."  With a side of Wind Chimes.