Friday, May 5, 2017

Take that MotherFlicker!...White Trash Craftery™

No, a FLICKER.  The bird.  The bird that is destroying me wee shed.

It, or they, has/ve been pecking holes in the cabin for a while.  I covered the first batch of holes with the bits of metal I had on hand...muffin tins from the thrift store.  That looks sort of cute actually:

THEN the stupid motherflicker (I'm assuming it's a parent trying to bring home the bacon/beetles to wee ones), moved to another side of the cabin and spread out the damage.

I was out of muffin tins.  Didn't want to move to loaf pans.  Or baking sheets.

I thought perhaps SHARP would be a benefit.

I had a couple of #10 cans from the recycling center that I'd had plans for.  Plans that were never executed.  So I though perhaps I could use the tin snips to cut strips from those and hang them (White Trash Craftery Rule #1: use what you have).  As I am cutting up the first can, I figured out that hanging 10 strips from the eaves would be complicated and I would never get around to it  (White Trash Craftery Rule #2: plan for your inherent laziness).  The remaining can got flattened out.  The seams on the sides cut off.  Then I cut it as though making a garland out of a sheet of paper. I couldn't find a diagram of this on the internet so I made one for you special.  Just like the actual product, the cut lines (shown in green) are unevenly spaced and crooked.  I'm not bothering with neat work for a stupid motherflicker.

Once you make the cuts, you just pull the ends apart...voila, instant sharp jaggedy metal garland for free!

It was definitely sharp.  I wouldn't stand on it to bang my face into a wall, but I'm not a flicker.  
To put it up, I started a nail through each end, stood on a slippery metal cooler on the weakening boards of my shabby stoop, and tried not to let anything hit my eyes (the safety glasses were clear down in the a quarter mile away (White Trash Craftery Rule #3: Safety is secondary)).

Here it is:

It's blocking the view of the worst holes but you can see a smaller one above the Flicker-B-Gone™ garland and how it has been stripping a few of the battens on my board-n-batten siding.  As it happened, the #10 can had a coppery inside and a silvery outside so this turned out to be more interesting looking than I'd planned.

Of course when the wind blew I was awoken in the night by a mysterious metal rattling sound.
I think that means the Flicker-B-Gone can also be labeled as Wind Chimes.

I'm thinking that putting a few of these along the top of the fence between me and the rest stop might deter ne'er-do-well types.  That makes it both a "Flicker-B-Gone™ " and a "™ ."  With a side of Wind Chimes.


Cache said...

I've heard running thin fishing line across the spots and looping it around nails driven at each side would keep away woodpeckers...

Jill said...

Thanks for the tip!