Friday, September 23, 2016

My New Favorite Total BS "News" Article

So we all know how much I hate the "lower your chance of death by..." type titles.  Again, just to review: YOU ARE GOING TO DIE.  We all are.  The chance of death is 100%.  Just like the chance of time passing.

BUT did you KNOW that you could die of almost anything.  Even a HAIR TIE!!!!
Insert dramatic music and eyes like this:

This actual true headline made me LOL for reals (pronounced "rilz" with a slight sidelong sneer):

The Horrifying Reason You Should Never Wear Hair Elastics Around Your Wrist

 Turns out, one woman, one time, once got an infection from a gnarly filthy hair tie she wore on her wrist.  NOW WE CAN ALL DIE OF THAT.  So much for all that kale I eat, the exercise, and those stupid seat belts I've been wearing like a total dupe.  I'm going to die of hairtiewristitus. 

Seriously people.  From now on I'm only tying my hair with surgical tubing taken directly from the autoclave.  This will be handy since I'll have something clean to tie my arm off too when I need to get a vein to shoot heroin.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

What Pear Is This???

I took this to my local nursery and they thought maybe ussurian pear...but the internet says those are yucky tasting. These were DELICIOUS! (sweet yellow flesh).  About 1-2" in diameter.
The farmer selling them said the tree was on the property when they got there.  No idea what it is.  I need to quiz him about thorns/no-thorns and a few other things.  And I saved some seeds.  Hope to get them going.  I may send some to my god son and see if he can get them going.  Divide and conquer.

Flavor: Sweet like candy (that said, I've been avoiding added sugar so may not taste as sweet to someone who just drank a pepsi and had cap'n crunch for breakfast).  Mealy but not very mealy.  Pale yellow flesh, not white. Most of them had a pink blush on one side.  some did not.  Didn't keep long.  Ripened over 2-3 days. 

Saturday, September 3, 2016


So I'm walking around the Moscow Idaho Farmers Market this morning and there are MORE of those tiny wee plums.  This farmer has them in yellow AND purple.  I bought a pound of the purple...and am saving every seed because day-yum are they cute.  And yummy.

Also more tiny eggs.  I saw a carton of VERY wee eggs at a stall where I thought I was buying one just the plums but next to the cash station was a carton of tiny eggs in dark rich earth tones: olive drab, dark khaki, grey-green.  Stunning.  A bit shiny even.  I asked if they were
PHEASANT!!!  So I had to buy those.  I mean what if I never saw them again?  I asked how much a pheasant would lay and they said not all year, they are winding down for the winter.  So I was glad I got them.

Here they are

 I got tiny artisanal bread too.  Rustic rolls from a local bakery that uses local wheat and makes sourdoughs.  The salt in the bread won't be local sadly.
I decided to make local tiny toad in a hole by slicing the rolls and cutting out the centers of the slices.  Even the oil is fairly local.  Camelina oil from about 200 miles away (I admit, I do also own coconut oil, not local)

And the flip-side.  I put on some non-local salt and pepper.  

The pheasant eggs are very rich.  The yolks take up the lion's share of the egg and are thick and creamy.  Really delicious.  The flavor is enhanced by the overwhelming cuteness of the tiny egg.

The shells on the bantams are sort of thin compared to a regular chicken egg (well, a regular free range local chicken egg).  The shells on the pheasant eggs are clearly meant to take a bit of punishment.  Thick and sturdy with a hardy membrane on the inside.  It is so tempting to use some tiny eggs, bantams since they have more white, to make a tiny angel food and cook it in a tiny oven.  But, I DO have a life to lead and there is only so much time for cute.

There WAS enough time to boil up the remaining bantam eggs. I ate two and I'm hoping to turn a couple into miniature deviled eggs.  And of course I must take tiny eggs, tiny plums, and tiny pears for my lunch this week. I think I have tiny cutlery to go with them.

Friday, September 2, 2016

Fresh, Local, Seasonal...AND TINY!!!

I like tiny things.  Tiny games stuck to the ends of writing implements.  Tiny versions of watches, dice, office supplies, notebooks, arrangements...

Imagine my delight when I found ALL of this at the week Plummer, Idaho Farmers Market:

 Bantam chicken eggs!  I had a 4 egg omelette this morning with baby beet greens.  I didn't think to take a picture of the baby beet greens, but trust me...tiny and hilarious.
I may have to boil a few of them just so I can make tiny deviled eggs.  AND I wish wish wish I had some rye bread to make tiny toad in a hole....I may look for a rye roll or any small roll at the Moscow farmers market just so I can do that.  I need MORE TINY EGGS.  The week before the same vendor sold me some of her regular chicken eggs and those are so huge I thought every one of them must have a double yolk.  For the record, none of them did.

 TINY PLUMS!!!! I have been just sucking these down like candy.  They are the size of tart cherries.  About half the size of Rainier cherries.  And super sweet.  Every pit is sacred.  They are in a jar, open jar, by my desk drying out. Cut AND delicious.  What more is there in life?

Those are PEARS!  Super sweet candy-like pears.  I think they might be Sekel pears.  I'm not sure.  I will take either a pear or a picture of the pear to the local tree nursery and say "I MUST HAVE THIS IN TREE FORM".  A few years ago I made pears, giant ones, dipped in dark chocolate.  Just take a whole fresh pear.  Wash it and maker sure it is totally dry.  Melt some dark chocolate.  Dip the butt end of the pear in said chocolate and set on wax paper (I had the wax paper over a muffin tin so the pears could sit in the muffin divots) to cool and harden.  You can also set them on some crushed nuts for extra flavor.  Anyway, for some reason it is the perfect food.  I'm thinking if I don't eat all of these first, I will dip them in chocolate and have tiny chocolate pears.  I could transport them in an egg carton.
 Of course I'm saving the seeds, though I doubt they will come true.  Worth a shot though just to see if the tiny-feature comes through in the next generation.

Right now I'm mooching a shower and couch space from friends (THANK YOU) and stealing their wifi while they are gone.  As much as I love my wee cabin (imagine my delight at eating tiny food in my tiny shed), I needed a SHOWER.  The gym where I usually shower is closed for a week and it's been chilly and cloudy so the solar shower is on the fritz.