Sunday, December 14, 2008

Of Blogs and Blind People Canes

OK, I'm behind on blogging because the free internet at the apartment never came back! Those BASTARDS!!
How dare they get us addicted to the interwebs and THEN stop. They are internet pushes. If I had any idea whatsoever who "they" were, I'd write a sternly worded letter.

As it stands, we're sucking it up and I must say, I'm getting more done.
I do more yoga, watch more movies (I'm watching one now while I draft this in notepad), the laundry is caught up and I just made 4 candles (or a mess in the kitchen and ruined 4 jars...we'll see after they cool) from scrap wax left over from the unburned nubbins of real candles that I bought at the thrift store. (Have I just crossed some line...have I become the crazy thrift lady?) (I don't care, I'm just wondering).

ANYWAY, a couple of blog-worthy things have happened.

Let's start with my accidental impersonation of a blind lady. Not any particular blind lady.

Here's how it goes. So about a week ago I'm thrifting on a Saturday morning as is my wont. I see a blind people cane at the great thrift store. I text Jonny (Hi Poodle!)
to see if he wants it for his costumery activities. I don't hear back until I'm long past that thrift store.

Fast forward to Tuesday. I have a meeting to go to in Spokane for work so I just stay in town rather than driving to the rez. After the meeting I have some time and walk home via the thrift store. The cane is still there. I buy it. Turns out it is there not only due to the missing tip, but due to the fact that it no longer breaks down into a manageable size that would fit in a bag.

I have to carry a full length blind people cane home. That's about a mile and a half. I try casually slinging it behind my arm so it won't look like I'm blind. People in cars are slowing down...apparently thinking that the blind lady is not using her cane and could meander into traffic at any minute. I try carrying it in all sorts of positions and nothing works. So I carry it in a way that is vaguely like a blind person would...fewer people stare, or get freaked. At least not until I am at the corner waiting for the walk-light to change and texting on my phone while leaning on my blind people cane.

Right near the apartment is an eye doctor. I wanted to walk in and say, "You know, I've been feelingbetter lately. Could you check my eyes?" Then, when it turns out my eyes are fine, I could scream, "It's a MIRACLE", throw my cane away and run out of the store in mock glee.
Instead, I just laughed to myself, appearing to not only be blind, but nuts too.

I'll send the cane to Jonny as soon as I find a mailing tube big enough for it.

Other funny things: Hammy bit me. OK, not particularly funny, but with a hamster there are only so many activities. He eats, craps, runs on the wheel, and once he escaped. I put him in the big play pen again and he seems happy enough, but how would I really know?

OK, so now I hate Starbucks and will be boycotting them. I went to the Starbucks to use the internet and bought their non-fair-trade coffee and whatnot. THEN I find out that their wifi connection is NOT free. It is for fee. I'm going to try one of the other far nothing works.

I moved over to the organic free trade FREE WIFI coffee store. No more Starbucks. I'll just come here on the weekend.

1 comment:

Fly Right said...

I have a funny Laurie story. I was going to call it a funny blind people cane story, but that's not the funny part.

When I was in high school, there was a girl named Cheri who was blind and used a cane. One day I was in the library and I thought I heard Cheri running down the hall--tapping quickly with the cane as she went. I ran out into the hall to aid poor Cheri (without permission--remember how you had to get permission for EVERYTHING in school?). Well, it wasn't Cheri running down the hall, it was somebody typing.