Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Straight, No Frills....Not Just For Breakfast Anymore!

OK, back to the whorehouse because that is way more interesting.


The "menu" was mentioned in the prior posting on this topic. I'm sitting here this evening drinking tea out of the mug I bought at the aforementioned house of ill repute. Said mug has the "menu" that was left on the wall in 1988 when the ladies of the night (or afternoon or whenever your shift at the mine ended or your bus rolled into town) fled fearing the feds.

We have not determined what each item is. If anyone can enlighten me in language appropriate to a family-friendly blog, please do.

First are the "straight" selections.
Straight, no frills
followed by
Straight, regular


a clue may be in the following options:

Half & Half, no frills
Half & Half, deluxe

And finally,

Straight, French, no frills

The time allotted per item varied but ranges from 8 to 15 minutes. 8 seems oddly precise until you go down the list and see that the times for the respective entrees listed above are in order: 8, 11, 13, 15, 10.
I do like prime numbers and in this apparently had something in common with the madame of the establishment (she also enjoyed Atari games).

The second half of the menu, presented after a blank line, are the following:

Straight, French
Half Hour
Per Hour
Bubble Bath and Half Hour
Bubble Bath and Hour
Positions, $5.00 ea. plus $2.00 ea.
Vibrator - $15.00 plus regular party price plus $5.00
Doubles - double price per party, time same as one

OK, there are a few things there I do understand. I understand "Bubble Bath" and I can count and tell time. But how the math works on out "$5.00 ea. plus $2.00 ea." is beyond me.
And I think "party" may not be used in the legal sense of "party of the first part" or "person" but rather as in "get your groove on" sort of party.
Then again, what do I know?

I want to call one of the retired ladies and find out these things. It bothers me not to understand the meaning of words that seems so familiar on the surface.

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