Will It Wipe? Testing Grocery Store Weekly Fliers

The store may not have actual TP, butt (ha!) perhaps they can supply your wiping needs anyway and for free.

Grocery store weekly fliers show up in my mailbox and normally I just chuck them out.

Again...this is a wipe test, NOT a flush test.  Do not flush grocery store fliers.

AND:  WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS!!

Thank you to the commenter who suggested mullein leaves.  Right now the mullein on my property is too small but as soon as it is of a reasonable size, I will run the test!  More suggestions welcome.  comments are moderated so be patient and it will show up, if it's not gross or obscene.

And now for our second contestant

Grocery Store Weekly Flier saved from the burn box.


This isn't from my store, it's just to give you an idea.

PREP:
Not terribly slick, but also not absorbent feeling in my hand.  So, you'll want to rub it around a bit to get the nap up for more cleansing/soaking power.

SCRATCH FACTOR:  2/5
Not as good as the xmas tissue paper.  Bit rough on the hide so proceed gently.

EASE OF USE:  4/5
Took a bit more prep than the xmas tissue, but still easy.

PAPER-CUT SAFETY:  3/5
I don't THINK anyone will get cut, but the edges can be sharp so keep an eye...or whatever...out for any dangerous looking portions of the paper.

ABSORBENCY:  4/5
Quite good!  But go slow, it isn't as thirsty as TP.  Holds up better than tissue though.

CLEANSING POWER:  5/5
Bit rough, but you will be clean.  Unless you consider brightly colored ink on your bum dirty, in that case, you'll be cleaner than you started out, but not like after a shower or with real TP.

AVAILABILITY:  2/5
You only get one a week and at best you get 4 wipes from that flier by separating the sheets and tearing them in half.

Grocery Store Weekly Flier COMPOSITE SCORE: 20/30

So, more suggestions please.
Or perhaps someone disagrees with my assessment?