Food Is Good....UltraProcessed Crap Isn't

 So, here's the danger of reading science stuff, sometimes it makes you do stuff that is good for you.  Not always, often, it is BS but this time...it makes sense.

I read and listened to the book UltraProcessed People by Chris Van Tulleken several times and will do that a few more times.

I'd already read/listened to various other books and articles on how the ultraprocessed food messed with our bodies, brains, moods, economies, human rights, farming, soil, weather and on and on.

This one though, it brings it all together and the dude has a nice british accent of some sort so it's an easy listen.

Turns out, frankenfood is bad for you! I mean, I KNEW that but I didn't get scared straight.  I'm getting there now.  

For years I've been working on the diet.  Decades.  And the exercise.

NOW though...I have the means, the time, the motivation and group of friends and colleagues who also are a bit into it in their own ways.  Is that what you extraverts call a support system?

So, last year I avoided cheap grocery store sugary foods.   That made a major change in the diet and budget.  Good for both as it turns out.   If I really really wanted a treat, I didn't buy Reese's (this will be a complete shock to those who know me...I haven't had an industrial candy bar, even an expensive "good" one in over a year), instead, I either made it or went to a business, all turned out to be local, where someone actually MADE the thing.   Like Moscow Candy in Moscow, Idaho where I got a really good peanut butter cup for 1$ or a "Bruttle" (what Butterfingers WISH they were) that is made in Spokane for 1.50$.   They are smaller than the industrial versions, cost about the same or less and are astoundingly BETTER.  Also, there are some  road blocks to getting them.  I'm not in Moscow most days.

Occasionally, I would get a locally made cinnamon roll or piece of pie or cookie.  And occasionally I would make them.

This year, cutting back UPF, ultraprocessed food, as defined by the NOVA system.   None of it is good and it turns out all of it wrecks my health.   

FORTUNATELY I have the means in money and location and skills now to do that.  I have enough $$ to buy eggs and live close enough to people who raise chickens that go outside.  I know people who hunt (and hope to be one of them this year) and trade them informally for game meat.  I know how to butcher chickens and other small things and can them.  I live with enough outdoor space to have a garden and near lots of people who garden.  I have enough money to buy produce from local farmers.  

While it costs more upfront for the food, by avoiding the fast food and convenience foods, my total food spend for 2023 went up very little.  Pretty much on par with inflation.

Recently people at work got into similar things and I talked one into reading the above mentioned book.  Now he and I share labor on processing (not ULTRAprocessing...very different) meat and fish.  For the holidays I gave home made mustard, ketchup, and vanilla extract.  In return I got deer and elk meat, and some smoked salmon.   We are all happy with that.

Now...to buy a 2024 hunting and fishing permit.  The hope is to ACTUALLY use it this year.  Especially for fishing because that's easy and doesn't have to result in 100lbs of meat like killing big game.

What If.... Preppers/Savers on the Youtubes Sometimes Lack Creativity and Experience

 OK, rando rant a bit because I'm kind of a dick.

On the youtubes, the thrifty people I follow are doing this "What if" type thing. Fine.  

Things like "What if you only had a half a bag of rice, 3oz lentils, and moldy cheese, and you don't get paid for a week and the money is gone...how would you stretch the food and what would you make?"

Mornings with Granny is best at this because I suspect she's been poor for reals.

I was poor once upon a time and now I'm too lazy/cheap/frugal to run in to town when I am lacking an ingredient.

ANYWAY...recently, the ones I watch are "prepping" or stocking up for power outages.  Turns out rice is a bad idea without power.  Um...like the electric stove or any of the 2 dozen counter top plug in appliances are the only ways to cook???

JEEZ people!  One vlogger was talking, this morning, about a power out where they had no way to heat water or cook food. She has other videos where they grill food outside.  Does the propane tank and/or charcoal not work when the electricity is out???

Also, candles under an upturned can with holes cut in the can-sides makes a tiny stove.   So does a can of crisco with a wick (which can be a bit of dry wood, twisted fabric, wooden skewers, taper candle jammed in a hole, or almost any cooking oil/fat you have around).  PEOPLE!!! Electricity is not the only power.  

What about a solar cooker?  Or the dashboard of your car in mid day?  Heat water with those mid day and then put it in a thermos, or even just wrap up the container of hot water with whatever.  That reflective dealy in the windshield works well.  ALSO coolers keep things warm.  They are don't just keep things cool.   Then you can heat that warmish water for washing or whatever.

Also...rice, pasta, grains can be soaked for a while, brought to the boil, poured into a thermos or the pan wrapped up and they will cook much faster with very little heat, e.g. over a candle or crisco heater.

Grills hold pots as well as naked slabs of meat. You can even bake bread, cake, whatever on there.

ALL YOU NEED TO COOK IS A HEAT SOURCE.  

Other tips for power-outage cookery:

Think about the size and power of your heat source.  Boiling a cup of water over a candle will take a while.   Boiling a cup of water on the grill is wasting heat...boil up the big pan of water (tea kettle, anyone?) and store the excess because maybe it will still be warm later.   Overnight oats/soaked-rice for 4 is too much to bring to a boil over a candle.  Not too much on a grill or in a solar cooker.  

Frying is faster.  Small bits cook faster.  You can fry on a grill.  Put the frying pan (cast iron is the best option) on the grill.  Add fat and whatever.  Cook.  Don't wander off.

Grill outside.  Want to bring some of that heat inside?  Heat up clay plant pots and bring them inside in metal buckets, set them on things that won't burn like bricks or the hearth.  You want get super warm, but you'll be busy and a bit warmer and NOT die of carbon monoxide. 

Butane burners are great, I use them all the time.  But the butane runs out pretty fast if you start with cold water and want to boil it up.  Hence lots of preheating on the woodstove and storing the water hot in thermoses (thermosi?  thermopodi?)...insulated containers!

Things to do now:

Make a "hay box" for your favorite pasta/rice pan.  NOT the insta pot.  Don't be an idiot.  The pan that you can put on the grill, stove, woodstove, etc.  Best if it has small handles but just use what you have.  Find a box, card board, wood, or a metal milk crate, that fits the pan with several inches to spare on all sides.   Line your box with wool blankets or old sweaters if you have it, or hay (hence the name), straw, cardboard, or even metallic bubble wrap. Make sure there is an inch of cardboard or wood or no-flammable at cooking temps fabric between any plasticky crap or fabric and the pan. Make the lining fit tight around the pan.   When the time comes, heat the pan up, like on that grill, and when the food is boiling hard, put the pan in the box (which of course you insulted on the bottom and sides and top) and close it up.  If you can heat up a rock or plant pot ahead of time and put that in the box while you finish boiling up the food, that will preheat the box and make it work better.

Don't have a box?  Make a bean hole in the ground and preheat it like in the olden days.  I will let you google that.

You can boil things mid-day in the solar cooker and transfer to the hay box or bean hole or thermos.

When using a thermos, preheating is best.

These all work like slow cookers.   Pasta will get mushy fast, whole rye berries hold up super well as do wheat berries, oat groats, and barley.   Quinoa is an excellent option as well.

If I am putting meat in, I prefer it to be fully cooked first, either fried up (sliced thin it fries faster/less fuel) or precanned by me or an industrial canning service.

If using a thermos for soup or flavored grains/pasta, you'll want to not use that for coffee or tea water later.  No matter what they say, the flavors linger. I have tested glass, plastic, and stainless steel lined thermoses and all retain that stank.  It's fine in the next cooked item, but not great in my coffee.  

To make the thermos cooking work: invest in a good bottle brush and good funnels.  I use a big canning funnel for the wide mouth thermoses and a skinny funnel for the insulated bottle type thermoses.  

The water you use to preheat a thermos is fine to use in the next batch of soup, to drink, to give to pets who usually enjoy the vague food stank, or to soak tomorrow's grains.  

These practices always save fuel/money/pollution/resources to why not be practicing now??

Rant complete...for now.

101 Dishes I Can Cook Entirely From Ingredients On-Hand

 This is an exercise for me.   Partly because I usually do this in the notes app on the discarded phone from my sister (thanks!) that I took a simcard out of and use as a glorified notebook and wifi device.  But then I butt-deleted the entire notes app.  CRIPES!!!!  Still, you have to admit I have a talented butt to do such a complex operation.

And I've gotten in the habit of grabbing things to eat when I'm out and about.  That isn't frugal and isn't appreciating what I have already!   Most of what I have will store for ages, but not forever (the honey being a major exception) and what is the point of a garden if I don't eat/share/use the produce?

Anywhoooo, here are things I can make entirely from my current pantry stock and crap that is around the property waiting to be picked, or in the case of eggs...waiting to be laid (heh heh..aren't we all).

1  Garbanzo soup with onion, garlic, greens and wheat berries

2 Pinto bean soup

3 Lentil Soup

4 Peruana Soup (some of those beans I grew myself!)

5 Random Bean Soup (from beans I grew from a free bean soup mix...chucked the salty-ass yucky spice pack.

6 Lentil Soup.   Lots of soup. To go in these I have tarragon, chives, garlic, greens, lovage, 2 kinds of thyme, 2 kinds of sage, wormwood, greens (3 or 4 kinds), squash, and eggs all from the property.  (if I can find the lentils I KNOW I bought...probably in the bin I didn't check yet)

7 Pumpkin Soup.  Made this yesterday with a random type of winter squash from a friend.

8 Walnut squash loaf

9 Fancy salad with greens and nuts

10 Sprout salad (have sprouting seeds to save and use in the winter when fresh produce is at a premium)

11 Bread.  I have whole wheat flour as well as a grinder and rye berries and wheat berries.

12 Coconut Milk hot chocolate!  I have 2 bags of dehydrated coconut milk.  And cocoa powder.

13 Walnut clusters.  Walnuts and dark chocolate from the pantry.

14 Breakfast wheat berry porridge with walnuts and raisins.

15 Keto-ish raisin bread with almond and coconut flour

16 Apple pannekoeken (which is my pretend german-ish pancake using any of the above noted flours and eggs)

17 Raised yeast bread.

18 Bannock bread with my new and just tested no-salt baking powder!  LOW SODIUM bread...yay.  Also have no-sodium baking soda that I haven't tested yet.   They are calcium and magnesium based so they also up the mineral intake.  

19 Chicken soup...those baby roosters and the elderly non-layers with some onion from the pantry and various seasonings from the garden and maybe some egg noodles.

20 Salmon burgers from canned salmon, fresh eggs, and a flour and psyllium husk as binder

21 Gelatine desserts from the last of the pound of gelatine (protein supplement) I bought a few years ago.

22 Tuna on toast from the canned tuna in the stash.

23 Sardines on homemade crackers from the pantry stash.

24 Tea

25 Coffee

26 Almond milk from the almond flour

27 Peanut butter sandwiches

28 Peanut sauce for a nice curry type dish over rye berries

29 Sauerkraut on Sardine Sandwich (hobo rueben?)

30 Skillet pizza with crust from one of the flours, sauce of the salsa I made from farmers market produce, topped with tuna (no cheese because I don't do that...I made this for lunch and it was super good)

31 Tuna burgers

32 Tuna casserole with a can of tuna, some wheat berries, homemade white sauce (non-dairy) as a binder, a few dried mushrooms, some garlic, spices, and a few dried mushrooms

33 Atole (a cornmeal mush type drink)

34 Cornbread

35 Chocolate pudding from coconut milk, gelatine and cocoa powder.  I think I'm out of cornstarch

36 Camelina seed pudding (I grew the camelina seeds!!  Yay.)

37 Chicos and beans.   Chicos are a roasted corn that is then dried.  It is delicious.  I have some New Mexico chili powder to season it.

38 Vinaigrette...this should be like 20 entries because I have 7 or 8 types of vinegar (malt, apple cider, kombucha (2 kinds of that), pineapple (made that myself), red wine, white wine, and vinegars infused with berries of various sorts.  

39 Mustard vinaigrette...because I make my own mustard.

40 Chicken casserole from the bland canned chicken and rice soup.  I'll thicken it a bit with a white sauce and add dried mushrooms and some seasonings for flavor (which the soup lacks).

41 Sardines in red sauce over zucchini noodles.  I have a zucc or two left in the garden. I've been trying to let them get super ripe so I can keep the seeds.  Plenty of garlic makes the sardines a bit more anchovy-ish and tasty.

42  Scrambled eggs with greens in them.

43  Eggs and salsa

44 Egg drop soup from salsa and extra onions and spices in the "broth"...which I plan to make for lunch

45 Anti-inflammatory egg thing.  I've been making this.  I made a spice mix of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and turmeric.  A tablespoon of that and a beaten egg kind of makes a curry flavored pancake.

46 Pancakes and Maple Syrup!  I got some maple syrup free for attending a conference (along with some other amazing gifts)

47 Pancakes and honey

48 Apple stuffed mini pumpkin with local buckwheat honey.  I got the apples off a tree on my property and the mini pumpkin from the garden.

49 Cinderella squash soup.  I bought a GIANT Cinderella Squash at the farmers market.  It had the shortest growing season...like 85 days.  So plan to save the seeds.  I will add apples or pears and onion to it and blenderize the soup.   I suspect there will be too much so...

50 Cinderella squash bread 

51 Squash muffins

52 Squash pancakes

53 Biscuits

54 Bannock bread

55 Rye berry tabouli

56 Wheat berry and lentil hot dish

57 Chocolate Wacky cake using honey or maple syrup as sweetener and vinegar and the no-salt baking soda as leavening.

58 Whole wheat crackers in a skillet...might turn into flat bread if it won't crisp up.

59 Popped wheat berries by toasting in a skillet

60 Kombucha (I have a mother and a bit of white sugar at the office and black tea so I can make this all winter and flavor with various dried or vinegar preserved berries and whatever else)

61 Fennel hash because I got fennel at a farmers market

62 Tomato soup from canned tomato paste

63 Veggie Soup from my low sodium veggie broth cubes and the carrots, onions, garlic and greens.

64 Apple sauce from my apples with cinnamon, nutmeg and the raspberry honey

65 Honey cake...I have 3 or 4 kinds of honey.

66 Olive oil spice cake from the olive oil I got from that above mentioned conference.

67 Walnut loaf with the walnuts and grain berries, camelina seeds, and maybe eggs as a binder.  As long as one of the blenders holds up!

68 Pasta and pine nuts if I make pasta from the flour.

69 Toasted pine nuts (more realistic...because they are untoasted in the shell which makes them basically rocks)

70 Peanut butter muffins

71 Peanut soup with chicken (from one of those little roosters or non-layers)

72 Beet hash with beets out of the kvass I have brewing...unless that blew up.

73 Zucchini pickles.  I fermented a zucchini in  brine a few weeks ago and LOVE it.  Good sour pickles so I plan to make more.

74 Celery with peanut butter and raisins.  Still have celery from the farmers market.

75 Tuna loaf.

76 Eggs on toast

77 Toad in the hole...if I make bread from the flour and then manage not to just eat the whole loaf.

78 Wheatberry salad with beets and greens and fennel-turnip-cabbage-kraut (which I made last week and is DELICIOUS)

79 Tuna Noodle casserole if I make egg noodles from the flour and some of my eggs.

80 Ever more muffins

81 Scrambled eggs with kraut

82 Coffee cake...from actual left over coffee.  It's like a mocha flavor

83 Spice cake like a wacky cake but spices instead of cocoa powder

84 Almonds with greens, beans and rye berries. Cook the berries, toss into frying greens and beans, then put the almonds on for the last few minutes.  Hearty and good.

85 Tomato bread with the canned tomato paste

86 Wasabi toasted garbanzos...because I have dried garbanzos.  Cook those up.  Drain well, and put in a dry skillet to toast, then toss with a bit of wasabi powder and keep as a snack or to-go lunch protein

87 Coconut cake!  With the coconut flour

88 Fancy chocolates with nuts and raisins by melting coconut oil, mixing in baking cocoa, and adding the fancies then pouring in the silicon mold my sister sent years ago.  This is a winter thing when I can use the porch as a fridge to chill the mix in the mold.   They are really good.  Don't need sweetener but I have the various things including stevia and a bit of erythritol (which I must use super sparingly)

89 Chocolate chip cookies if I crunch up one of the dark chocolate bars.

90 Peanut butter honey cookies (yum...really must do this one...might be a good way to use up the powdered egg or egg substitute that needs to be used up)

91 Spice cookies

92 Breakfast cookies with some of the various proteins like nuts and gelatine in with the whole wheat flour and powdered egg with no or little sweetener

93 Bean burgers

94 Bean loaf

95 Pinto bean brownies (I love bean brownies but have to limit their production because cocoa kicks up the gas factor to weaponizable levels)

96 Egg sandwich.  Dang!  Why was this not higher on the list...an egg sandwich with my homemade bread, homemade mustard, homemade kraut on the side, and eggs from my chickens.  How has this not been a staple?  If I add some of my tarragon and thyme or pair it with the fennel kraut...yum!

97 Almond and coconut flour pancakes.  These are so hearty and with the anti-inflammatory spice mix they make a good sweet or savory side dish to most anything especially homemade apple sauce or soup

98 Savory stuffed pumpkin with wheat or rye berries, seasonings, and maybe beans.

99 Leftovers in eggs...this is a frequent meal.  So far almost everything is good fried in an egg.

100 Leftover soup...which is left overs in a pan with a broth cube (my low sodium veggie broth cubes are my go to) if you have it, or fry an onion or garlic or chives if you don't.  Or just add water or tomato sauce or whatever you have.  Even a can of cheap veggies with the juice.  Or grind up some flax/camelina type seeds for a thicker texture and a bit of umami in the broth.  Other nuts or seeds toasted do wonders for adding flavor.  Also, those magical dried mushrooms...not to be confused with dried magic mushrooms!  Just dried mushrooms add amazing flavor.  Must tell Mom I'm low on dried goods.

101  Breakfast/Protein bars from the various flours, cooked beans or ground and toasted nuts, the raisins, and whatever comes to hand to use as a binder...eggs, peanut butter, bit of the gelatine powder.

I could go on...and on.

I have been watching and listening to various frugal youtubes and reading frugal tips.   

Attitude is key and this is to reset my attitude that I want to eat grab-n-go food.  It's NUTS with the amount of food I have in the house and on the land.   CRAZY amounts of food.  I didn't scratch the surface of sandwiches...I mean all of those beans can make sandwich spreads and then add some kraut or sprouts or both for a crunchy veggie element and it's really good.  

I also have that beet kvass at the office.   It's my first try at that and fermented really nicely.  I have seen recipes that throw it in soups at the end to perk them up and add probiotics.  I wonder if beet kvass and kraut in a soup cancel each other out?

And then there are the options for making more vinegars from the apple scraps when I add those to things.  I usually leave the peels on, but the cores come out.   And of course once it has vinegared I give the fruit mush to the chickens.

I'm also expecting canned and smoked chicken and duck meat coming in during October so...perhaps I need to STOP stockpiling the proteins.

What was I saying about going on and on?

No-Spend February Informed Pantry Stock List

 It is time to start restocking the pantry.   The no-spend month was handy in getting through the stuff I don't eat, as well as noticing what types of foods I get for free or onsite and hence, they will not be on the top of the restock list, but instead on a sort of watch list in case the supply should change.

Things I get, or can get, onsite or through my own efforts:

Meat  By helping people butcher, I have a pretty good supply of meat and I gain skills...oh so slowly do I gain skills.   I will add the hunting rider to the fishing license mentioned below.  I can get small game or big game here on the property.  I can also butcher out my chickens as they get past being decent layers or I get sick of the cock duet in the mornings.  The 2 roosters are on notice every day they start the concert before 4am which is now every dam day.

Eggs More free hens should 

Fish. I'm going to go get a fishing license with the "stuff for land" or "household" budget line(s) this month.  If I actually fish this year (AHEM Sara W!!  You have been warned), that will pay for itself AND provide recreation and nature break thinking time.

Legumes.  I managed to grow a very few lentils and garbanzos last year.  Critters got them before I did but with more effort, I could make it happen I think.  The Siberian Pea shrubs are starting to put out pods and those are an edible legume.   I might be able to harvest some this year.

Camelina seeds.  They are a protein boost with omega-3, fiber and they can be gelled into fake eggs like flax seeds.  EASY to grow, harvest, clean and store.  I kept plenty for seed.

Greens 9months of the year.  Need to work harder on this and I am getting a jump on it now.  My Good King Henry is up but got frozen in the bad weather.  Might begin being harvestable in April.  Same with some wild greens like nettles, dandelion leaves, and fern heads.   If I plant radish seeds this weekend, the sprouting kind (the radish is edible but not delicious but the greens are excellent if you like strong flavors on the bitter side) I could have greens in a few weeks.   I have kale coming up in the mini greenhouse.  I have some kale that has been alive through 2 winters now.  It doesn't put out a ton of leaves, but one takes what one can get.  Lovage...god the lovage!  Both a green and a seasoning.  I moved as much of the roots as I could get out of the raised bed yesterday over to the big in-ground garden and planted what might be 3 large clumps.   The rest of the root bits I plan on potting up and maybe selling or giving away.  IF I am diligent and dry some of the greens, I might be able to stretch the supply into winter.  If I get enough sprouting seeds off radish plants, that would nearly get me greens independence.

Garlic.  I am still eating on last years' sad harvest (critters got most of it) and what the community teaching garden was giving away.  Of course I forgot to plant any last fall, middle of the house build and whatnot, until a sudden really hard freeze and then gave up.  Still for the past month or more I've saved a clove off the heads that had stored well and yesterday I stuck them in the mini greenhouse.  Why not?  Might work.  I've had a few this past week that were starting to grow in the storage bag so I put a few of those in as well and planted on in a little pot in the wee shed.  The spider plant former pot occupant froze to death a few weeks ago.  Oops...

Flavoring agents.  I've managed to collect dill.  Could have collected and dried lovage leaves, chives, sage, thyme (multiple kinds), oregano, tarragon, horseradish, onions (walking onions mysteriously appear and disappear in the garden...I did plant them but where do they go sometimes?), garlic, mint (various types).

Herbal teas.  I have wild roses, pine and fir trees, hops, mints, raspberries, and much much more that I could have been gathering leaves and petals off of to dry for winter teas.  I'm testing chicory to see if I want to grow that as a coffee substitute or coffee stretcher...so far, it makes me poop to  much to want to have all the time but might be worth it as a medicinal.

Berries.   Still have a TON of service berries, elderberries, and oregon grapes perserved in vinegar (partly because I had access to so much other fruit all winter this time).  I also have blueberries from the you-pick and I might even have some of my friend's blackberries in vinegar.  My berry bushes didn't put out enough to preserve, the planted bushes.  BUT they are doing better since the move to a new garden.  We'll see...   Service berries are pretty reliable.  If I drive or walk 5 miles to the state park up the road, I should be able to get huckleberries now and then.  I think I've found a spot to put my honeyberry shrubs and they are even bearing in their sad undersized pots.  The hens picked them clean the day before I had about 2 cups coming ready to harvest.  My blueberries have never been happy and my wild raspberries are meager.  I could work harder with the pin cherries on the lower part of the property and try working with the ash berries (those orange danglers on ash trees are edible), as well as haw apples (the fruit of the hawthorn).  My aronia berries and chokecherries are coming along a bit but are not happy.  The gooseberries and currants put out 1or 2 berries a year so far...hope springs eternal.

Apples.  I get bucket tons off the deer poop apple trees.  Plenty.  Need to work on more preserving them with drying, canning, and a root cellar some day.

Water. I have a well. 

Mushrooms.  Not many, just a few.   I am trying to learn more about identification so I will have more species that I can harvest and eat. 

Potatoes grow but are hard to preserve without a root cellar.

Beets also grew well in the big garden and were a good source of greens as well as roots.

Oddly, I suck at squash but am going to keep trying.   I have a ghost pumpkin in the small garden rotting away with some sheep poo on it.  Here's hoping it turns into a nice pumpkin patch this year!!

So, that's a great deal!

Things usually/often included in 2nd Harvest distribution locally:

Canned fruit, some fresh fruit 

Canned veg, some fresh veg

Canned beans

Pasta

Rice

Bread

Those have come, in the past few months, in large enough quantities to become part of the pantry stock.  Recently the canned items have been no-added-sugar and no-added salt versions (mostly) which work in my preferred diet.  

I'm learning to pace myself with the canned goods...eat the fresh fruit and veg early on because it's usually a tad bruised or near the expiration date.

Occasionally there are windfalls like the 10lb bag of all purpose flour I got 10 months back or the 6lbs of red meat that we got last week.  Those can't be counted on but are lovely when they happen.  The usual animal proteins are dairy and/or super salty processed meat.  I can't eat those and stay healthy due to personal problems.   The amount of pasta lately has been bonkers so that is getting shared out and when people quit accepting it, I put back 2lbs of angel hair to make up for the chickens.  They love it.

Things that are currently hard to produce and hence could be purchased as pantry stock:

Grain.  I like me some grain!  I might be able to get buckwheat to go but don't have the brain space to figure it out.  I've planted it and it came up and flowered and put out seeds. I didn't figure out an easy/doable hand harvesting method.  Once I do, then there is the cleaning and getting the hulls off and etc.   I might try wheat and wild rice.  I've tried quinoa (yes, I know it's not a real grain)  (neither is buckwheat smarty pants) but didn't get a harvestable amount.  Will try again.

Nuts.  I've planted chestnuts, hazelnuts, english walnuts, butternuts, horse chestnuts (don't eat those....make soap).  So far all but 1 hazelnut tree have died.  A chestnut might be powering back from roots.  We'll see.  I really want nuts (heh heh).   Good protein and an oil source.  BUT I can grow sunflower seeds so once I get that going, I may need/want fewer nuts.

Oil...the meats I can get easily are pretty much super lean.   Even the chickens because they are layers butchered in old age or roosters, they are not fatty.   The elk a friend gave me (thanks Rik!!) was amazing and lean.   Same with the ducks I've butchered with a friend. More fat on the ducks.  Since we're canning, we've been taking it off.  I might ask for some to render into cooking fat next time.  Nut oil (heh heh heh) would be handy.  It magically appears when you try to make nut butter.  Instead of mixing it in, pour it off and cook with it.  For now, I've been buying various oils. Coconut oil is the easiest to store, hardest to spill and I prefer it to the others when I use it as skin lotion.  I may not want to smell like olive oil or canola all day and they go off flavor in the freeze/thaw/overheat cycle of my home.

Spices.  Many herbs I can grow.  If I get a greenhouse going maybe hot peppers will make it, or thai peppers as a house plant.  Many spices like cinnamon won't.  Nutmeg is from Madagascar so I don't believe it's going to make it in north Idaho.  Mustard seeds...the debate is still alive on this one! Not growable in the quantities I need for making mustard for others, but maybe enough to make for me.  I will run a test.

Cocoa/Chocolate.   That's not going to grow here but I am going to continue to love it.  That will be purchased as needed/wanted/possible.

Coffee.  That isn't going to grow here.   I'm working my way toward lower consumption and finding ways to stretch it.  Right now I reuse the grounds.  If I start with all fresh grounds and make a french press, pour over or percolated version, then for the 2nd press/pour/perc  I add about 1/2 the original amount or less of fresh grounds.  It's not going to win coffee awards, but it cuts the amount of coffee grounds per 2 cups by 1/4.     That's about a week's worth per month.  Every 4th month is free!  (sort of).  Cutting back on the number of cups per day also helps.  I've been filling in with my back stock of tea and will keep doing that until the tea is gone.

Tea.  Herbal teas yes.   Green or Black tea...nope.  Not able to grow that here.  Hopefully I can mostly transition to growable or gatherable tea types (nettle, mint, raspberry) eventually.   They don't have caffeine so I'll have to watch and see if coffee intake increases when the G/B teas run out.

Sweeteners.  I keep trying to grow stevia as a houseplant!  So far, no go.   Honey is a theoretical possibility but I have failed for several years to get a harvestable amount and currently do not have bees.  I have been cutting back on  sweetener so that will be the biggest help.  If I keep making kombucha I will buy sugar for it.  If I eventually get a honey source going then I can try to move the mother over to that.   Sometimes sugar is also helpful in a liquid to turn into vinegar.  Honey vinegar is delicious but without my own honey it can be spendy.

Sourers.   I can brew vinegar and the pineapple scrap vinegar I brewed is AMAZINGLY delicious.  For reals!  I will keep trying with the vinegars.  Eventually maybe press apple cider and vinegar some of that.   Other sours...I have started a perennial sorrel in the garden and learned to pick sheep sorrel.  Nice sour for salads and whatnot.  Hmmm...I wonder if it is still sour if I dry it!  Lemons are not going to grow here outside. Perhaps a tree when I get a house.

OK!  Time to inventory my seeds while enjoying a cup of pantry stock tea!

Another One Bites the Dust and the Cost of Eggs from the Coop of Misfit Chickens.

It looks like Suzanne went to cross the road...literally crossed the highway...and ended up as an ex-chicken.  She seems to have suffered a direct hit by a semi. I could see her.  I'd gotten her off the highway before and WARNED her that this would NOT go well if she kept it up.  I was talking with a neighbor up on my porch and I could see cars swerving a bit.  Dang.  Then I could see a chicken.  Double Dang.  I hoped she would not cause an accident.  She didn't.  The neighbor and I saw a semi coming, after the chicken had been across the road and back to our side, and I said, "Ugh, just hit her" or something like that.  Shortly afterwards...no more swerving.  No more glimpses of a chicken in the distance on the highway.  Oops.  Then I noticed cars driving crooked a bit further down.  The neighbor, who has a bunged up leg so I walk her back down the hill when she leaves, was ready to go.  I walked her down and sure enough.  Chicken parts all over the highway for about 20 yards.  When traffic cleared I threw the main bit off into the ditch so people would quit swerving.  There was not enough coherent material to make a positive ID.  The hen did not actually suffer.  This was over before the nerve pulses made it from the point of impact to her tiny brain.  No head was located.  My sister did recommend making an ID with dental records.  Ha!  The remaining light red hen is clearly Bonnie, clipped wings.  That means this must have been Suzanne.  The Novogen breed lays well and is calm and easy to handle, but is NOT bright.  1 lost to raccoon.  1 from last year smothered herself under a tarp.  Another from this year just wandered off.  And now this.  They don't seem to be doing well as free range hens.  Then again, I do have the misfits and off cuts.  The runners and the garden accosters.  So my sample is not representative.

The bantys seem hardy.  I did lose one to a broken leg, but in fairness she was so old she probably had osteoporosis.  The other two are still about!  And still putting out eggs. As are the other 5 remaining hens.

Here's the current chicken list, then on to egg costs:

Fabio
Clyde
Bonnie...the last light red novogen.
Pru
Pearl
Porky
Flossy
Flo
Gertrude ("Gert")...the newest youngest novogen who is bright red.  They fade as they age so you can kind of tell who is likely to still be laying.

As for the egg cost:

I get 0-7 per day.  7 was a banner day.  Usually 3-5.  Let's call it an average of 4 per day, 28 per week.  This might change with the lower hen count at the moment.  That's 2 1/3 dozen a week.  I spend 12.50$ for 40lbs of feed and 3$ for some oyster shells.  They feed seems to be lasting about 3 weeks (for 8 hens and 2 roosters) at summer rates. Might have to feed more in the winter.

That's 1$/week for oyster shells and $4.17ish for feed per week.  $5.17 input (all components of the coop are free or were bought ages ago for other reasons and the amortized investment is around 0) per week.

 5.17/2.33333333 is about $2.22 per dozen eggs.  Not bad.  Local free range eggs are going for 3$/dozen or more. Organic at the store $6/dozen.  Local free range at the store about 5$/dozen.  Farm eggs from the farm, that I would have to drive to get, $4-5/dozen.  Since these are my own and got straight from chicken to pan, or stored in the shed unwashed and unfridged, the convenience and lack of driving add to the value for me.   I am able to give away about a dozen a week so that's nice.

Seems worth it.

The feed is local, non-GMO, and the hens kicked up their laying-power when I started this vs trying to mix my own.  So I get to support a local farmer.

This is where I'm getting my feed:

http://www.lazydaeranch.com/

They drop it at my work so there is no added fuel cost or anything.

I wonder if they want their bags back?

My current feed-barn is a single metal trash can I picked up years ago at a yard sale for about 3$ and have used for a variety of things. I could use a 2nd and 3rd storage option for winter so I don't have to haul 40lb bags up the hill too often.  We'll see if that happens.

The chickens eat around the property all day so they may need more feed in winter and I will likely cull the flock down to the best layers with the most cold-hardy traits before then.  Maybe keep the big cock (heh heh) because his bulk adds to the heat in the coop. We'll see.  He's a bit of a dick with a big comb which may be bad during winter. The small cock (heh heh) with the flat comb may be more likely to survive winter.

101 Money Saving Ideas: Numbers 60-73

Remember, I'm taking this idea from Centsible Living with Money Mom on the youtubes.   Check out her channel.

Starting to have to get more creative and think more so this is getting a bit more fun.

60  Stay home!  And not just to shop on line.  When I stay home I eat what I have, don't spend on gas, don't spend on anything (usually, unless I have forgotten to pay a bill and get online to avoid a late fee).  Staying home days are also about the only times I don't acquire plastic.  I don't have home mail delivery so no stupid plastic envelope windows acquired at home.  Sometimes people drop stuff off and almost always in a plastic bag...it's like we've forgotten how to live without goddamn plastic bags.  Even me.  Anyway.  More anon.   Stay home.  I like home days.  I get stuff done.  Today is hopefully a home day.  I picked a quart of berries before breakfast because I noticed them while I was letting the chickens out and feeding them.  I grabbed the berry bucket and had at the service berries because they are read...see above "free fruit".  Had some in a pancake...made from what I have on hand.   I hope to stay home tomorrow too!  I took some time off work to run errands, like picking up more fuel for the wee butane stove so I don't have any "musts" in town that can't be done on the phone.

61  Use the phone.  You can still call ahead to the hardwares, groceries, and other businesses to find out if they have what you are looking for what the prices are.  This saves me stops when I am in town.  Sometimes I do want to do a run through on hardware/lumber place to check clearance or the free scraps bins for lumber or chain bits (one store had free chain bits, handy for many things), but it's better for me not to stop at all because they might have something else I want to buy but don't need.  Right now I'm checking jar prices for the mustard business and jar stock.  Everyone seems to be using more jars, or buying more jars.  I don't know if we're all using them.  More of us went back to calling with the corona "stay home" and curbside service available.  It also keeps the number of people down in the stores and this helps with the 'rona distancing and etc that we're trying to do (well, some of us are trying to do).  I've called this year for fence post prices and stock and it saved me a few stops at places that either didn't have the posts I wanted, or were too expensive.  Then of course I found posts at the recycling center but I go through posts and they won't be cheaper next year so I did not return what I had bought.   I have about 10 fence posts for when I'm ready to beef up the garden fence or build the chicken jail.  Good to have on hand rather than need to run to town.,

62  Keep your eyes on the side of the road!  I almost stopped for a bag of cookies yesterday that someone had lost along the road.  It looked like it was closed.  I was on my way somewhere and in a hurry and decided the odds the cookies were NOT breached upon impact was low, and I did not need a bag of cookies when I'm trying to cut down on sugar.  I DO stop for pallets, giant hubcaps off dump trucks (hello new fire ring!...and since a trip to the free metal bin at the recycling center it's also a new BBQ grill because there was a grill grate that fit).  I also have picked up lumber, firewood, and hope to pick up wood chips once my pickup truck unloader gets here.  Free chicken bedding, compost and garden bed base!

63  Buy tools that will help you save money.  Think it through.  Maybe borrow them first or test them.  Read reviews, perhaps watch a few youtubes including those from folks who hated or didn't find the tool useful so you get more than just "this is awesome" vids because those are often paid for or in exchange for a free item.  Recently, and it's not here yet so we'll see if it is worth it, I bought a truck bed unloader.  I'll put a picture up if I like it.  Tools I've already invested in that have saved me money are...dewalt 20v cordless reciprocating saw, drill/driver, and weed whacker.  The saw came in a set that included a circular saw.  I haven't used that one yet.  If it goes a year without use, I might sell it or trade it.  I use the others all the time.  They save me time and make me more likely to DIY things with my scrap lumber and pallets than to go in town and buy something to fill the want/need.  The drill/drive is used pretty much every week to fix something or jerry rig something.  Decent hand tools are useful too!  I haven't had to buy these but others might.  Basic hammer, saw, drill, screw drivers.  Have them.  Also, a good multi-tool with pliers, screw drivers and a blade.  Keep it with you.  You'll end up fixing things or doing things rather than putting them off.

63 Reuse those damn plastic bags.  I haven't bought trash bags...other than contractor bags for house construction trash that needed hauled to a place that requires bags...for myself for YEARS. Reuse those stupid plastic grocery/store bags that you constantly get from stores and from people.  I almost always remember to bring my own bag or ask for paper when I'm in a store, or even just juggle the purchases until I get to the car, but now and then a clerk will have extra-bagged something (like those nails were going to leak into the candy bars?) when I wasn't looking or I'm tired or someone gives me food or something else in a plastic damn bag.  Or my SISTER...you know who you are...uses these as stuffing when she ships a package to me.   So I reuse them.  Hence never purchasing household garbage bags.  I rarely run out and when I do, there's always produce bags for trash...or...get this...paper bags.  OR get THIS...putting trash in a trash can WITHOUT A BAG!!!!!  Epic.  Ground breaking.  NORMAL.  Rinse the can out if it's stinky but since I compost and have chickens there is rarely anything in the trash that will stink.  The compost transport container will reek but not the trash.  I tried braiding the grocery sacks for rugs etc, but they are so flimsy they shred and make micro plastic trash which I find more offensive than macro plastic trash.

64  Shop at product specific stores.  Skip the big box stores.  This save by avoiding distractions like going for tampons and seeing tires on sale.  Or trying acres of free samples and coming home with bags (plastic bags) of pot stickers you didn't plan on buying.  Also saves the "club" fee that some of the big box stores have.  If you need groceries, go to the grocery store.  Preferably a locally owned or smaller chain type.  Or the discount grocery if you have one around.  When I need hardware I go to the hardware store.  I don't leave with eggs.  Of course I check thrift and free first, but when those let me down, real hardware or real groceries.  Or real clothing stores (like discount off brand clothing stores when I need undies and socks, the rest is thrift and hand me downs for the most part).   I haven't been in a walmart since the giant flood in iowa.  Well, maybe I was IN one with a friend who shops there, but I haven't purchased from them for YEARS.   Probably over a decade.  If you skip that one event when the other stores were flooded, it's been multiple decades.  I haven't been in a costco in over a decade.  I do NOT need a pallet of toilet paper.  Or 3lbs of cheesy poofs.  Gross.  By shopping at local/specific product stores I support the community, most pay better than the big box conglomerates (not all, but I do ask), and I know my prices.  Crap isn't always cheaper at the big boxes.  I limit my distractions by not seeing hardware at the grocery store etc.  I also end up with staff who know me and don't mind when I ask annoying bougie questions like "how much will it cost to special order 5lbs of brown mustard seed?" (actual question).  They also know I like the free/cheap/discount hardware and lumber so when I buy 2 2x4s and drive out of the lumber yard with a pickup full of scrap and bent fence posts that were in the free bin, they don't have to take the extra time to double check the load. They know me, they know I didn't hide 3 more bits of good lumber under the crappy scrap (or do they...  they do). 

65  Wait before you buy.  This is in addition to the thinking noted in #26.   I wanted that pick up unloader for a while.  A friend (Hi Cindy) mentioned that it existed.  I thought about it.  Looked it up.  Thought some more.  That was the "thinking" portion.  THEN, with enough thinking, I'd picked a brand and store to get it from (a product specific store that shall remain nameless because a lot of their stuff is so cheap its crap and not the good kind for the garden).  THEN, it wasn't in stock yet so I kept hand-unloading the truck and thought through buying the more expensive brand.  But I kept checking the website and the brick-n-mortar store location when I was close to it and suddenly this last week the item could be ordered again.  So I jumped on that and it's hopefully on the way.  I didn't spend the Bday money while waiting. I didn't crack and buy the more expensive one.  This also works for electronics.  This computer I'm typing on is old and breaks sometimes.  My car and truck are older with high miles.  But I'm waiting before replacing.   Electronics get cheaper with time and more used items show up.  Cars sometime get cheaper, sometimes not.  With waiting I can save up, think things through, and perhaps decide I didn't need it in the first place.  Perhaps I borrowed the tool and it was a one time use or I didn't like it.  Or I rented an option and didn't like it.  Or, rented and loved it and solidified the choice to purchase.  Whatever.  The waiting almost always saves money.  Now and then you spend more, but in the big picture, it saves.

66  Freeware/Shareware is your friend!  At home, on this old grindy laptop, I use "libreoffice" because it works.  It's free to download and is close enough to the big expensive brand
word processing etc software that things translate back and forth well enough.  Not perfect, but good enough. I donate a little back if a freeware/shareware looks like it is particularly well done.  I check with the IT savvy sibling on that.  It also helps delineate the work/home line.  The work from home time during 'rona sucked, but that's OK.  I don't want to make it easy to work at home. I had to pay for therapy for workaholism so let's not support the cross over.  Make work pay for that if they really need me to work at home again.  I used paper and pencils (think of it!  paper and pencils) and got as much done as my coworkers with full spendy home working set ups.  I did crack and get the wifi but next time work will have to pay for that too.  I don't buy egames, emovies, etc.  If it's free, MAYBE but not always.  I have the free version of the anti-virus as well.  Right now it's irritating because I have to tell it to buzz off about 3 times a day, even when I'm not online it tries to tell me I'm being tracked.  But, it's free.   The freeware wordprocessing works for me partly because I'm a fast typist (compared to other modern folks, not 1950s secretaries) and decent editor so when I lose formatting in translating between programs, it doesn't take me long to fix it.  The "per hour" savings is still good.

68 Support local crafts people.  This isn't always cheaper in the moment.  It is a long range community frugal/money saving deal.  It ensures there are local crafts people. E.g. I'm selling at the farmers market in a town by me.  Partly my stuff and partly someone else's stuff.  So, I buy from the other vendors. I've mentioned this before.  Yesterday and last week, I bought a couple of things I didn't specifically NEED but they support a young person who is learning some crafts.  He made tops so is learning wood working/turning.   I bought one. It's pretty and may become a gift (or a plumb bob) but it doesn't spin. It was 3$ so not a big loss.  It supports him as he starts college.  Yesterday I bought a small knife from him.  I don't specifically NEED a knife that size. It was 5$ and he was doing his last trip to the market this year before he starts college.  I want to support his craft.  The knife is made from carbon steel and takes and edge nicely, is a good small size for a gutting knife, and is cute.  I also know it's from recycled materials that he locally sourced. I want to support him and his practices so I got the wee knife.  I've already used it.  I also buy cookies from his little brother.  The kid sells them cheap and is learning to cook and run a business.   It's a buck and it's delicious.  Same with the local bread guy.  I don't technically NEED bread, I could make it or eat something else.  But he's a crafts man with the sourdough so I buy a bit each week to support him and the business.  For my house build, I'm going with a more craftsman type builder who trains up younger staff.  It's not the cheapest but it's more flexible in the style he will do and I meet crafts people who will be around for decades when I need a repair.  They will also mostly stay in the community and we'll have actual builders around.

69  Share your skills.  This saves you and others money.  When I've shared my skills by teaching, people give back and become part of the frugal network around here.  I've taught small batch fermenting, jam making and canning, and vermicomposting.  I'm in touch with students from all these and the local extension agent knows they can call on me for these skills and teaching.  I've also passed on ferments to those who wanted to try them.  I generally get the jar back with something in it or a favor.  I don't do it specifically for that, it's just how humans usually work.  The network is another long range savings even if I spend a few bucks up front.  Right now I'm activating the network to find jars for my mustards.  People have offered jars and creative options when those aren't available.  I also enjoy running in to the kids at schools where I've helped set up vermicomposting.  Someday those kids will grow up to compost or garden. Not all of them, but maybe a few.  That helps the community and in general saves cash for them.

70  Know your limits.  How does that save money?  Well, I KNOW I can't fix the broken dash display on the pick up.  If I try, I will break it more.  Then I will have to get it fixed by paying someone.  I ran into a guy with the same issue and even doing his own work and getting the bits at a scrap yard, he was out 250$.  I'm working around the issue entirely.   I also didn't try to pour my own slab or build my own post and beam structure.  Chicken coop construction...yes.  Human house construction...no.  I DID learn something about plumbing, largely that it is one of my limits, but still saved a bit on that by DIYing with lots of help.  I don't change my oil.  I COULD but I COULD also cross thread the screw every damn time which is a trip to town, spilled oil to clean up, and reliance on 2 running vehicles (so I have one to run to town in while I get the thingy to retap the hole and a bigger plug screw thingy and crap to clean up the oil spill).   Change a headlamp...yes.  Oil...usually NO.   

Other ways to do that.  If you can't cook much, don't think "I'm making pad thai."  Instead think "I have rice, I'm making rice."  Baby steps.  For every day cooking, fixing, making, know your limits.  When you acquire a new skill, incorporate it but maybe don't make a plan based on skills you hope to acquire anymore than you make a budget based on a lottery you intend to win.  I don't buy broken down "project" cars because I can't fix them.  I don't adopt abused dogs for the same reason.  I can't fix that.   Same with my men.  Anyway.  Know your limits.

71  Meal plan.  Meal plan around what you have.  Then make the list for shopping if you MUST.  Then be flexible.  Don't write "oranges" write "fruit."   Last time I ran by a grocery store, cantaloupe was on sale for 18cents/lb while oranges were $1.39/lb.  I have cantaloupes.  Now I have service berries for free so even better.  I have duck and eggs for protein so I do not plan a steak dinner.   I plan and egg or duck dinner.   If you can meal plan entirely by what you have, even better.  This weekend, that's what I'm doing.  Partly because I'm home and partly because it's fun. 

72  Creative opportunities are everywhere.   I don't really get paying to go paint ceramics while drinking wine (oops...first wrote "whine" which is what I'm doing).  I don't like wine.  (I do like whining though.)  I don't need any painted ceramic anything.  I like to do crafts and crafting, but the costs should be minimal or zeroed out.   I also look at creative options elsewhere.  I'd rather try cooking something new or learning more wild plants by walking around with my plant identification books, or picking berries or making boxes for my mustard samples, than paying to paint a mug that will end up at a thrift store in a few weeks (I see them there...along with HUNDREDS of items from "the pampered chef" parties).  Meal planning is an excellent creative outlet.  If you have 3 eggs, 2 cups of raw rice and a salsa packet from that drive-thru frugal mistake, I'm sure you can make something.  Be creative.  If you need a tool, think more about the task that made you think you "need" the tool and figure out if there is a different option based on what you have.  E.g. I needed to move well over a ton of wet straw off the slab for my future home.  I didn't have help or power equipment.  I hauled straw by hand on a pitch fork for a while.  Walking it all the way to the erosion problem I was putting it on (rather than buying erosion fabric or getting straw sprayed on it...creative solution is to use what I have).   That was heavy and time consuming and killing my shoulders.  I have a utility sled and used that for a bit.  It's small and had the strength to haul more once the load was off my shoulders.  Then I remembered tarp technology.  I shoved the straw off the slab onto a scrap of torn tarp about 15' square.  Pulled it with my arms and that was better.  Then I had the real epiphany.  Tie 2 corners of the tarp together to make a loop like the rope on the sled.   I load the tarp up with it pretty well spread out but those corners tied.  Then I step into the loop, pull the knot up to my hip bones, keeping the hauling load on my legs and butt rather than my back.  Grab some of the wadded tarp bit.  Then I walk over the to erosion area, dragging the heavy load with my powerful hind quarters.   Once I have it a bit past where I want it, I walk back over the loaded tarp and continue on in that direction.  The tarp rolls over itself, dumping the load of heavy wet straw while I walk horizontally, not lifting anything.   The chickens head over to check for bugs and scratch it up, throwing it around in a fairly even layer.  Someday I might rake it around but for now the chickens are doing that work and are happy with the job.  It took a while but it was creative, got something done that needed doing, and ended up entertaining my chickens and getting some extra bug protein in their diets.

There is a section in the Tightwad Gazette (a great book for the frugal to have or to get from the library) about being creative.  It is pretty much like what I wrote but with pictures and sketches and briefer.

73  Keep a frugal reference library on hand.  Yes, real books.  They work when the electricity is out. The wifi is out.  The internet is down.  The car is broken.  Your leg is broken.  When whatever keeps you from getting to the library or the internet or calling people for help.  Books are with you.  I have a reference library for gardening, wild plant and mushroom identification, basic home repair, cooking, frugality, beekeeping, a dictionary, home construction, solar power, and DIY projects.  Part of the library is in rotation based on what I find in the free book bin.  Many cookbooks come and go from there.  Basic cookbooks like "More with Less" and a classic Better Homes and Gardens, are permanent.  I find local and church cookbooks amusing so those come and go.  If there is an interesting recipe I tear it out or copy it down and move on.  For home repair those rotate too.  When I find the one I like best, I will keep it.  I get them from the library and the free book bin.  I keep a dictionary because I like language(s) and because I like learning new words.  For 25cents I found a 1906 vest pocket dictionary at a thrift store.  It includes how to give a toast, how to write a thank you letter, how to write a complaint/compliment letter to a business and some other handy outdated tips that I still use.  I'm trying to get a home built hence those books.  They might move on if I find ones I like better.  Same with gardening books. Those were mostly from the free bin and when I find ones I like better, they move on.

Suck It Pinterest...My Egg Storage is WAY Cuter Than All the Ideas on Pinterest

AND I made it for free.
The only "new" bits are the screws and they will get reused on the next project.  I had run out of decent used screws with normal head (too many hex heads, square heads, various sizes...couldn't keep up with bits).  So, I bought a cheapo box of philips head wood screws about 1 1/2 inches long.  Made the door with them.

I had been storing my eggs in an old egg carton or two.  Red rubber band on the one that is "ready to go" and a blue rubber band on the carton that is "building up".  It didn't work well because I don't have anywhere to set egg cartons.  So they were in a grocery basket hanging off my loft ladder.  But that basket ALSO had to hold groceries like fruit and veg, often heavy.  Annoying.  And the cartons wear out.

I saw one of these on a youtube and wanted to make it:



But, that was hard and I can't be bothered.  So, I thought about what I had on hand that I could use.

When I found a batch of eggs while doing another project with friends, I had an old mini muffin tin sitting around outside. It had been part of a bee feeder I'd cobbled up, and was then part of the apparatus keeping chickens out from under the shed.  I turned it up and put the eggs in it for temporary storage...it worked great and looked cute.

So, I took the muffin tin in (tested the eggs...all were plenty fresh enough to eat so I boiled them up and brought them to work for lunches that week) and sure enough, it fit pretty well between 2 studs in the shed (heh heh...studs).  I found an old plant stake, a 1x2, and cut it to length.  While doing all this, I found another mini muffin tin, same width.

In total I have 21 muffin-egg holder holes.  One tin is 9 muffins and one is 12.  They are old and I got them at thrift at least 4 years ago.  I usually won't spend over a dollar for a baking item so that is probably the original price to me.

The plant stake, I have no idea.  I got a big bundle years ago and use and reuse them until they get too weak to pound in the ground, then they are scrap lumber for propping things closed or propping up chicken wire fencing that is starting to bulge.  Maybe it cost a dollar originally.

Box of 250 screws was about 8$. I used 8.  You can do that math if you want.

The impact driver was free from Fred's stash of tools. 
The bits...I got a box of 10 for 12$ (nice magnetic ones) or so and have been using this one for about a month!  Must be better metal than the ones I used to buy because I'd strip those out quite a bit faster.

I guess it is a 3$ egg holder but I think we need to amortize that over the previous lives of the items involved and the future lives of some of them like the screws and the bit which will no doubt be reused.

It is pretty cute though.  Here's the big reveal.








































Sher said I should get out more...she is mean to me.

If You Build It, They Will Come

God I hate that movie!  

But, that crappy line is apparently true.

Coop 3.0 was barely settling in with the 3 red hens (ha!) when I got a call from the friend who gave me 2 of the red ones, Brittany and Suzanne (the chickens, not the friend, the friend is Cindy and human), had 11 hens given to her because the owner felt that the hens "bicker too much."...Uh...they are chickens.  Chickens are persnickety assholes.   Like most of the women in my family (sorry, but you know it's true).   Cindy has a full flock of heavy layers who don't eat much and these 11 weren't worth integrating to the big group, apparently.

Anyway, she called to see if I wanted more.  Given the size of Coop 3.0 and my unwillingness to build Coop 4.0 so soon, I said "no more than 3."
Cindy picked the 3 specialty breed hens and brought them over.

Here are the chickens. 

The reddish ones I've had for few weeks.  Others are new and very different.

Porky and Pearl

Porky is a Barred Rock (the black and white one).  She's big boned...actually, she's a fat ass.  Pearl is a Leghorn and quite shiny with an oddly large bosom just like Foghorn Leghorn in the cartoons.

Brittany and Suzanne with Porky and Pearl.

Brittany and Suzanne are "Novogen" breed.  A cross between Rhode Island reds and Leghorns.  They are super tame and lay HUGE brown eggs.  Porky, I think, also lays brown eggs.  Pearl is the only one laying white.  

Brittany is a scrawny red-neck runaway.  Suzanne is a follower who wants you to think she's tough, but she's not.

T-Bone giving the camera the stank eye, and Prudence looking put out behind her.

T-Bone came from the community garden in Worley.  All the rest are from my friend Cindy who is the bomb.  T-Bone was a runner who spent her days escaping the chicken run and digging up the garden.  I don't have a chicken run so she saves that escape time and spends it in the garden...digging shit up.  T-Bone is tough.  10 minutes after I let her out of the transport cage on my property, she had a mouthful of Brittany's feathers.   10 minutes after the 3 new chickens (Porky, Pearl and Prudence) arrived, she had a mouthful of Pru's feathers.  Suzanne just follows T-Bone around all day and gets panicky if she loses sight of T-Bone...basically Suzanne is T-Bone's bitch.

Prudence (Pru) is an Ameraucana big, and prissy (hence "Prudence").  

Pru lays BIG pale blue eggs that are a bit on the green side.

They were laying in the laying boxes, but today, no one could be bothered, apparently.  So I got one egg from the floor and covered in poo!  Jerks.  Tomorrow they will have to stay in the coop until there are eggs...at least 5 (they don't all lay every day...I think 5 eggs per week per bird is pretty good).  They will have plenty of food and water.  And it's a big coop and there is a giant storm tomorrow so I'm sure they will all be in there most of the day anyway.  When it rains they either sit under a table I have outside or go back in the coop.

UPDATE:  I actually wrote this last week.  The hens lay more in the coop now, but not entirely.  We may need more prison days (not full days...) to encourage them to lay in the coop.  Today (for real today) Pru spent HOURS just sitting in a nesting box not laying an egg.  What the hell?  The original 3 were busy sitting under the table I got out of a dumpster a few years ago:

Coop 3.0: Another Adventure in Crapentry

So, I've got those new hens...Brittany, Suzanne and T-Bone.
They are hilarious and do weird sh*t all day when I'm home...and probably when I'm not home.

They had been in a really crap coop that forced them to sit in...well, crap.
SO, I decided to remodel and upgrade and reuse bits of the old one, some really excellent pallets I'd found, and some bits-n-bobs from elsewhere.

Design upgrades:
1) Bigger. It needed to be bigger.  The old one, coop 2.0, had room for 3 hens, but NOT for me to access it easily for clean out.  And 1 more hen or a rooster would put it over capacity.

2)  Easier access.  The old one I had to crawl around and reach in through the door for the chickens.  Awkward and meant chicken sh*t on the knees of my work pants.   Not all that much fun.  Really hard to rake the poo out or get the eggs.  But, it had been empty since Eula Goodnight finally croaked...the last hen from last year's misfit chicken ranch.With the new more active chickens, it wasn't great.


SO...I mentally designed and redesigned for about a month.
Then, I grabbed the bull by the pallets, and gave it a shot.

I had a 6 foot long, nearly 4 wide pallet with almost solid decking!  One missing board.
This ended up being the north wall.  I moved the decking boards around to make the one missing board area at the right height for the laying boxes.  Managed to carefully pry a board off, move it down a bit, and screw it back on.  Worked great.

I pounded a couple of t-posts in the ground and put that nice pallet up on them.
Then I added the east and west walls...regular size pallets I had around the property.  Each is anchored on a t-post, and screwed into the north wall.

For nest boxes, I took some 3 gallon plastic buckets, 2 actually, and screwed them, bottom to the north, open end to the south, onto the north wall pallet.  With my reciprocating saw I cut out most of the back side of the buckets.  These are lined up with the gap in the north wall pallet.

I used an old 2x2 to run horizontally across the bottom of the south, open, end of the bucket next boxes so the straw I put in there, and any eggs the ladies leave me, won't roll out.  Cut to length with the trusty reciprocating saw and screwed it on (I like screws because you can take them out and redo things as you change your mind).  It goes fully east to west and the boxes only take up half the east-west distance in the coop so there is about 3' of it the hens can roost on.

A few serviceberry branches that had come off bushes in the winter were added at odd angles here and there inside for more roosting.

I used my reciprocating saw to cut the north end of the east/west walls down to the level of the north wall, leaving the south sides a few inches taller. 
Onto this I hoisted (at great risk to my back...) an 8 foot long pallet I found behind bicycle shop about a year ago. It slopes down toward the north wall and was a bit "short" north to south, but that sorted itself out with the roofing...more anon.

The south wall was just open at this point.  I wanted to be able to access the entire inside through that wall if need be, AND I wanted the floor to be the bottom part of a car-top carrier that I found at the recycling center a year ago (it had been the roof of Coop 2.0)  The 6 foot long pallet, minus the widths of the east/west pallet walls was just about 8" longer than the car-top carrier, and the width was close enough to the width of the east/west wall pallets.  I made sure the east wall of the coop was moved in to match that which gives the hens a small sheltered area just outside their door, which is cut into the east pallet-wall (with the reciprocating saw...of course).

SO...I took a board off my wonky wood rack for the pick up (needed upgrading badly anyway) and screwed it along the top part of the east west wall pallets.  Another board from the wonky wood rack was screwed on at a level that would allow the car-top carrier to be a removable floor and slide out, poo and straw and all, under the main wall.  Like a trundle bed of chicken poo!  I put  few mini pallets (from my sawdust logs I buy for the wood stove) under the car-top carrier for better slidage.  Triple checked the height of the lower south wall horizontal board and added more screws and a few support boards.

I had made some crap panels of cedar boards salvaged off a discarded fence gate I found in an alley last year down in Moscow.  They were about the right height to make a passable south wall for the coop!  I trimmed the 3 panels down to the right height...actually, they are about 1/4" too tall but I will sort that out one of these days.

To make the south wall an access for getting into the coop for cleaning, I used cedar fence slats I got free off of craigslist to make the horizontal south wall boards into little slots for the panels to slide in.  Once I get the panels trimmed up, I will be able to slide them out the east and west ends and rake out any nonsense the hens put in there.

Finally, I used a few of the cedar fence slats to make runners for some scrap boards behind the nest boxes in that missing-board area of the north wall pallet!  I just slide the board to the west and grab the eggs without having to get in the coop.

Then it was on to the roof.  My builders for my future imaginary house let me have 3 pieces of salvaged metal roofing.  They just fit the roof.  One is a bit long and makes an overhang on the south side which will eventually use to accidentally poke my own eye out.

Finally finally I used the rest of the cedar fence slats to side between the slats of the pallet on the west wall and east wall, and to make a chicken ladder for the door (which the hens didn't care about)  The ladder gets picked up at night and jammed into the pallet gap to close the hens inside.

I contacted the cedar slat guy and he had some more.  I got those a few days later and they are laying in the hen-yard waiting to finish up covering some gaps in the siding if I get to it.

Over all, I really like how the coop works.
The slider thingy for egg access gets a bit snug when it rains, but it was free and easier to deal with than lining up hinges.
Sliding the poo-tray out works well.

I had to trap the hens in the coop with food and water for a couple of days until they laid their eggs in there (once the eggs appeared they were cut loose) just to get them in the habit. 
There are 4 eggs in this picture because I'm leaving 1 egg in the laying box as bait...it's marked so I don't eat it.  It's getting OLD...

They had been just pooping eggs out whereever they happened to be and they roam over about 15 acres.  Now 2 of them (T-Bone and I think Suzanne) consistently lay in one of the buckets.



The hens didn't care for the ladder and tore the little steps off it so now it's just the door.
And, the south wall panels need trimming so they slide better.  The hens seem happy enough in it.  It's somewhere they can relax and take a break when they are sick of digging up my gardens.