Sunday, October 21, 2018

Random Thoughts on Pants

Even Carhartt is making their pants stretchy.  Dang.  I'm down to 4 pairs of pants that more or less fit and have zero stretchiness to them.
Turns out, lack of stretch is more important to me than fit or cost.

One pair of my current jeans is a men's Levi's without stretch, but they are boot cut and tight on my lady thighs. But they are 100% cotton and the pockets are full size.

Tiny pockets are the other loser in women's jeans.

Another pair is flannel lined. They are lady jeans, straight leg, decent size pockets and no stretch.  With the flannel, they are only good for winter but I was thinking I could get another pair and cut the flannel out.  Alas, they are discontinued.  The new model is stretchy.  WTF?  Two layers of stretchy, because the flannel is also stretchy, would be like wearing tights over pantyhose. 

My third pair is ancient Carharrt lady jeans in 100% cotton.  The pockets are a bit small.  Apparently because girl car keys are smaller than man car keys.  Whatever.  They are long enough, and shapeless, but they don't have stretch so I wear them.  Somehow I tore the shin wide open, only on the pants, not my actual shin, and these are not double fronts.  So, I patched it with scraps of previous non-stretchy jeans.  The seams are frayed and there are parts of those jeans that are so thin you could read newsprint through them.  So, not long for this world.

The final pair is a set of lady, short waisted, medium leg length, 100% cotton double front Carhartts.  The holy grail of pants for me.  If they were inches longer, they would be perfect.
But, they aren't. 
I tried ordering a brand new pair of these, paying retail (well, sale retail but it's so rare I don't buy thrift and instead get on the internet and order pants that it's newsworthy, or blogworthy).  35$ including shipping.  That's a lot for a garment in my book. 

I read the reviews that these run BIG.  I was about an 8 by the size chart so I ordered a 4.  Well, gentle reader, you and I could have both put those on..  They were a 34 inseam so that was good, but I could take them off without unzipping.  And the leg opening.  I like a straight leg on my trousers.  These were oddly HUGE at the bottom.  Like so huge they would catch on crap.
Still, they were nice hard cotton double fronts and I had to pay to send them back so I get back on line to see if there is a size 2 long left.  Nope.  In fact, they never made the 2 in a long.  Crap.  I don't want to pay retail for inadvertent capris.

I have worn men's carhartts.  They are tough and last well and are available long enough, but rarely in a small enough waist size.  Not many men apparently wear a 30x34.  When they do, the rise is about 2 feet long so they button right to my bra.  I could cut armholes just below the waist band.

There is a company in Montana now that will make real hard cotton pants.  Red Ants Pants.
The pants are 139$, but they are 100% cotton, double front, double butt, gusseted crotch, come in a straight cut, full size pockets, have a longer inseam option, and are made in the USA.  So, we'll see.  Perhaps I will use christmas money for a pair.

Wranglers do make a few styles in 100% cotton.  So far all the options I've tried, including the men's option, were way too big in the butt and waist by the time I got my thighs in them.  I suppose I could use a hula hoop instead of a belt and carry my groceries around in the resulting waist basket.  They fit like clown pants with tight legs.  I tried a pair I got from a thrift store with new tags on them.  Alas, I took them back after 1 wearing.  The bubble butt and tight thighs caused a problem different from the stretchy pants.  Stretchy pants ride down all day, requiring lots of yanking up and the pantyhose squat move (where you have to grab the waist, yank up with all your might while doing a wide stance squat, then stand back up, still yanking.  This gets the crotch back up in the vicinity of your actual crotch).  With the thin thigh big butt wranglers, the pants rode UP all day.  I spent my day doing the wedgy hop (where you grab the butt crack seam and yank down while hopping up a bit, then grab the thigh fabric and shimmy it down a bit).   These activities BOTH piss me off. So, sorry wranglers, unless you acknowledge that some women have thighs without the bubble butt, we're over.

Once again, I may end up getting tailored pants.   I tried that through Lands End once.  It took a half dozen returns and turn arounds and eventually I got workable pants that were long enough and straight enough.  I got compliments.  Alas, they would not go short enough in the rise. They weren't truly tailored, it was a computer program that made a one-off pattern. I fell outside the allowable limits.  So, while the pants looked good, they were gouging by ribs every time I wore them. 

If anyone knows a good tailor who will make my new blue jeans...let me know.




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