I considered stretching this out but who am I kidding. This isn't monetized and I only add "content" as the kids say, when I feel like it. Why stretch it out? Who cares? NOT ME. And that's the only relevant bit.
These are still in whatever order I think of them. Not giant key tip that will change your life as 101. Can't. Be. Bothered.
84 Give people a shot. As long as you are giving Peace a Chance...
perhaps give people a chance. Now that I'm the local farmers market mustard mogul (more anon), I'm meeting lots of people who are very very different from me and lots that I do not want to spend much time with. But...
remember Pee-Wee Herman's dictum: There's always a big but:
Meaning that there is always the temptation to say "but" and talk yourself out of doing something.
I would normally not talk to these people BUT (this time it's a good big but) I talk to them to try to get them to drop 4$ on mustard (or lots more $$ on mustard). We already have something in common. We're at a farmers market. I have a table between me and them which helps with my personal space bubble.
I've met people who want to learn from me, who want to trade stuff, and who have skills I want to learn from them. It's been interesting.
Yesterday I got to talk to a woman just now learning about off-grid laundry. I have tried it all and though she is a very different person, I gave her a shot and she's a good PR person for my product, which she doesn't like, and is good at sharing her information about where to get things and what she wants to learn or teach.
Another dude and I will need to minimize our contact and we still managed to do a swap.
Moral: Give people a shot. You don't have to be BFFs forever and you don't have to 100% avoid them. The struggle for me is finding ways to NOT discuss politics. Once I get that down I'll be better at this tip.
85 Trial and Error Works. Especially if you keep track of the errors and the successes. I'm toying with the idea of buying 1/2 as many of compressed sawdust logs I like to use. Subbing out free wood (heh heh) others are offering and making more of an effort with the paper brick maker. This can save me 140$ plus gas money and a trip to a hardware store. OR I could get cold and have to hand haul logs/wood up the hill. It's a debate. If it's a mild winter, easier. Rough winter, tougher. I think I'll try it. I have more tools now and more skills and more people living a similar lifestyle who can share and help if it doesn't work. So, might as well run the trial. I've kept a record of how many sawdust logs I burn per winter. I know my current stock. And I have a month to change my mind. So, we will try...I think.
I'm also trying different ways to grind mustard, different things to ferment. Etc etc etc. Keeping notes means that I don't have to run the same trial over and over.
86 Try New Things. I thought I'd already done this one because it's super obvious. But I don't see it in the list.
Try a "new" brand or type of food. Especially if it's cheaper or otherwise fits better in your lifestyle. I tried dehydrated coconut milk powder. It's not "cheaper" per serving. It IS shelf stable. So it doesn't go off and I can make only what I am going to use at one time. This has eliminated waste.
Right now I'm trying a month without going to a grocery store. So far, for food and eating enough, it's been easy. The farmers markets are open. I have a garden and laying hens and canned duck meat. The only challenge is I'm out of mustard seed and the online order hasn't arrived and might not arrive in time to restock for the next farmers market. My local sources are grocery stores. Damn! Not really a big deal. Skipping grocery stores has really cut the food budget and I'm going to cut back on the trips in general. Fewer trips is less gas, less impulse purchasing. Saves $$. It's also been easier to eat what I have on hand when that's the option. Today I wanted chocolate. I had some in the pantry stock. It had bloomed in the hot weather and was gritty, but I ate it anyway and it was good. No trip to the store. I could have melted it and made it better but I couldn't be bothered.
I'm still eating out now and then at restaurants and still saving $$ on the overall food budget. I think I could do just 1 grocery store trip in Sept because the garden and farmers markets will still be going strong. Then, maybe 1 or 2 trips per month.
Other new things...selling stuff. Worked out so far.
Try new foods, different clothing brands, different stores, different friends, etc etc etc. If you hate it, then don't do it again.
87 Learn to Say No. How is this not like the first thing? Jeez.
OK. Say "no" and save time, money, effort and agony.
Sometimes you can say it indirectly or nicely. Often just be blunt and stop talking right after the word "no."
Today, I got a lovely invite to coffee with friends. I was already loading the truck with wood (heh heh) and headed home to unload. Joining would be fun. This week I've had zero alone time. THis month I'm not buying coffee out and didn't have any on me and no other beverages. Today I have a bucket ton of chores to get done. So, once I got home with the wood, I texted back that it didn't work today but thanks. An indirect and polite "no." No one was offended.
Often I have people ask me to do things I would loathe and would cost money. My favorite example is an invitation to a "lady's night" at a lawn-garden-lumber type store. I'm offended by the idea that "ladies" need a special night at the lumberyard. I go there when I need to go there. I don't need a special time. This cost money to get in. There was wine...for a price (I don't like wine). There were foot massages...for a price...WTF? At the lumber store?
Anyway, I said, "Why would I pay a stranger to touch my feet at the hardware store?" To which came the reply, "You aren't paying a stranger to touch your feet." "So the foot massage is free or is a friend doing it?" "no" "So you want me to pay a stranger to touch my feet." I should have just said "No" and walked away. The price for the night was going to be over 50$. To do sh*t I hate with people who confuse me. NO.
I'm better at "no" now. We should teach kids that.
88 Say Yes sometimes. This works great if you might learn something or get to try something. Like selling for a friend at a farmers market. I said I'd give it a shot. That's my way of saying 'yes.' Turns out it's fine and I can sell stuff. I'm not great at it, but I can do it. I don't like the crowds and will like my alone time Friday nights when the market is done for the year. For now, I said yes and I'm trying it.
I said yes when a friend asked if I wanted chickens. And to learning to butcher. And to going to pick huckleberries.
Since I struggle with being around people too much, I try to make sure I have an out for any "yes" that puts me with too many people for long periods.
89 Wear the clothes that work for you.
I am usually dressed like crap. According to other people. I don't care. Today, carhartt pants with duck blood stains, a bit short. Untied ankle boots, no socks. Messy braid. Sweat stained cap. Dollar store glasses (OMG!!! I should totally start doing an outfit of the day series!). Cotton tank top. Ratty bra. 2nd string underpants. Why? Because it's chores day. The tank top is a workday worthy one but I'm out of non-workday worthy tops so what the hell. It's hot out. These are the clothes that work for me. Since I don't care, I have no idea if anyone was judging me or staring. Not caring is awesome.
To work, I always wear long cotton pants, usually jeans. I never know when I will be in the field. There is no point in wearing delicate clothes. Usually I wear, or have at hand, a decent button down shirt. This can look reasonable professional.
Almost always wear boots. Never wear open toe shoes or any sandals. These don't work for me or my job. I do not live a flip flop lifestyle.
90 Don't Care What Others Think of You.
Once I stopped giving even half a crap about what others' thought about me, life got much easier.
I'm wearing clothes today that look like I fished them out of the trash. They are sturdy and they work. So I am wearing them.
I don't care whether people think my living off grid is cool or stupid or if it doesn't cross their mind either way. I don't care. I'm doing what I want.
Not caring helps with selling stuff. I don't care if people don't like mustard. Great. Move on to the next farmers market booth and make way for those willing to spend too much money on mustard. I don't care. I also don't care if you want me to make adjustments like the woman who actually complained that the mustard didn't stick to her sausage. First, I managed NOT to make a filthy joke about it. Second, I said, "Push harder." (which was again hard not to make a filthy joke about). She offered several suggestions for "improving" my product so it would stick to her sausage. I didn't care so I just nodded and moved on. Though clearly, not entirely because I'm still mocking her.
Way back in grad school I stopped caring about people's comments on my hair styles. I stopped getting it trimmed. A professor told me I'd never get a job if I didn't cut my hair into a style and wear some make up. I stared at her until she stopped talking and walked away. Still got a job.
The best interview I did for professoring was when my baggage got lost on the way. I had what I wore on the plane and the undies I'd wisely stuffed in my carry on. I was comfortable and had a reason for not caring about my clothes. Sadly, my baggage caught up with me and I had to dress up the 2nd day. Oh well.
I also don't care what you think of my lunch as I crack open a jar of meat and dig a wad of wrapped bread out of my bag, or slice up an entire zucchini and eat it raw. Doesn't matter to me. In grade school I cared. Easier not to.
Turns out, the less one cares about how others perceive them, the more positive that perception seems to be. One woman keeps calling me a "rock star" because I don't care.
One frustrating bit right now with the not caring, is when people TELL me to care. The planning dept people in my county keep telling me that the house I made them permit, "won't sell" and that I will be "stuck with it" or that "buyers will want more bathrooms." To which I say, "I don't care." They want me to care. This makes me angry so I must care about people still trying to put their values and ideas on me.
91 Know yourself.
There has been chatter of late about what my sexual orientation may or may not be. This could offend me, but it makes me laugh. See above "Don't Care." Also, I know I look different than most women, dress differently, and live differently than the norm. Part of not caring and dressing how I want, eating how I want, living frugally, is knowing myself. I know what I like, what my goals are, what I want vs what I need, what my priorities are. I also know how I look or sound to other people.
It's not a surprise to me when questions come up. It's not a surprise to me that I confuse people. Knowing myself helps with the not caring and with making my own choices, doing what I want.
Once in a while someone surprises me with an insight about me that I haven't been aware of, but I take it on board and think about it for a bit, and then move on.
92 Take a step back every day.
Take moment to see what you are doing, or thinking or saying. Or just to look at the stars. The current culture is all about distraction. Take a step back. Not some big deal 3 hour meditation. That will end up being another distraction if it's not what you want to do. Just a step back. Maybe look at the person in the car stuck in traffic next to you. Look up at a cloud. Turn off the tv/computer/whatever. Or if you are obsessively cleaning the toilet, take a step back and remember that someone is just going to take a dump in there anyway. It doesn't have to be clean enough to eat off of. It can be if you want it to be, but it doesn't have to be.
Any step. My chickens are good at making me take a step back. So were the bees. Going to check the bees and seeing that they decided to bugger off...that's a step back. OK. I tried. You moved on. Right. No point in getting my knickers in a twist. Can't chase down 30,000 bees and make them move back in to the hive.
Last night it was an amazing night sky. Got home late and tired and over stimulated. Stepped out of the car and noticed it was very dark and I could see so many stars and planets. Even a satellite moving across the Milky Way. 15 seconds of a step back,
93 Dare to Change Your Mind.
Right now I'm living off grid, let's not debate what that means for the moment, working full time in the "real world" on grid, and etc. If I started hating any element of my life, I will change my mind. It's fine. So what? This goes with the trial and error and trying new things and much more. Right now I'm fine with not having indoor plumbing and hanging out with the cool kids/oddballs. I can change my mind.
Right now I'm frugal and thrifty and tracking my money. I might change my mind on that. I might now.
It's fine. I used to never buy used shoes. Then I changed my mind.
I used to use shampoo. Then I changed my mind.
I usually change my mind in ways that save $$. Sometimes now.
I also like to change my mind about little things. Like the 25cent suede blazer I bought at thrift. I thought I would wear it. I haven't. It's time to change my mind on that one (see tip 94)
94 Raw Materials.
Sometimes the value in an item, is in its raw materials. I got a 25cent suede blazer. Turns out I don't wear it. I've had it for months. Now I'm looking at it as raw material...tanned leather. I could use a knife sheath and I want to learn to use the awl I have. That leather hanging unworn among the too many coats is probably the place to start. It's 25 cents. Enough leather to make a lot of mistakes.
I also need some hinges...leather makes a decent hinge. Hmmm....25cents well spent! If I change my mind (see tip 93) about the blazer being a blazer and decide it is raw material.
95 Be Clear.
I was not clear yesterday. A friend was with me at the farmers market. I wanted to make sliders with the pretzel buns from the fabulous baker who sells bread there. Pulled pork is for sale across the street. I asked the friend about it a few dozen times and offered the cash to go get the goddamn pork. She didn't. After the market closed she ran over. And the BBQ place was closed too. YEAH! I KNOW. Then I realized I hadn't been clear. I wanted sliders DURING the market to eat when it was slow. She assumes that we are doing the market and eat AFTER the market. I don't know why I was hinting around. Could have just said, "I want sliders now"and it would have worked.
I have been looking for canning jars lately and let people know what size and what price. NOW I have enough and need to be clear that I am not buying any more for a few months. If I'm not, I'll have people asking me to pay them for jars I don't need.
Being clear saves $$ and aggravation. We ended up with a decent dinner last night, but also it cost more. Oops! Should have been clear.
96 Ask.
Not just for stuff, but about stuff. And stuff.
I have a friend finishing a business degree. So I asked about easy money tracking for the mustard selling. She had good tips. I am not doing everything...like not marketing to restaurants because I don't want to.
People asked me about off grid laundry. I know about that. It was good of them to ask.
I wanted to have chickens so I asked if people knew where I could get some. Now I have all the chickens I can handle.
A friend wants to start fermenting stuff. I like to ferment. So he asked me how. I told him. Just ask.
97 Answer.
When you have an answer, share it. But don't get too attached to the idea that people will do what you said or hear what you actually said. People screw up. It's what sets us apart from the animals. Or not. We do what we want. All of us. So, share the info if asked and then let it go.
If you don't know, then that's the answer (see tip 98)
98 Admit Knowledge Gaps.
I can butcher a chicken, but I'm not great. People asked me how. So my answer was, "talk to that lady" while pointing to the lady who teaches butchering.
One of the WORST workshops I went to was a permaculture workshop where the instructor would NOT admit his knowledge gaps. It sucked. He kept saying that he had a Ph.D. so he know more than us. Well I have one too. AND I poop in a bucket so I know more about humanure. The Ph.D. had nothing to do with anything. The idiot instructor also told a farmer with 40 years making a living at farming that the Ph.D. meant the instructor knew more about farming than the farmer. The class participants turned to the farmer with our questions.
When questions turned to gardening and farming, I pointed to the farmer.
The instructor got pissed. Also fun to watch.
99 Own Your Expertise. It's strange, but I do know my composting including toilet composting. I own it.
At one point, the instructor asked what the class wanted to do with 20 minutes when he didn't have anything ready to present. I snorked (laughed and put beverage up my nose) when a woman said, "I want to hear more from Jill and Dave about composting toilets." Dave was another class member using a bucket toilet full time. The class, as a group, turned their backs on the instructor and grilled Dave and I about turlets. It was awesome.
When they started asking me about the nitrogen vs carbon percents etc, I admitted my knowledge gap (see tip 98) and said, "if it starts to smell like an outhouse, take it out to the compost pile and add more sawdust or peat." "how much" "enough to cover it. If it still stinks, add more." Number 1 tip...don't pee in the bucket." I didn't start spouting percents and chemical formulas or principles. I know how to make it work and rough ratios.
100 Don't Play the Lottery.
It's stupid and you are not going to win.
101 Pay Attention.
Just that. Pay attention to your money. To your purchasing. Your goals. Your life. The world around you. Other people. Opportunities. How you spend your time. How you and your life are changing.
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