I Did NOT Change My Mind

This is a rant.  Because I am SICK OF IT.

To the many doctors who would not tie my tubes in my 20s because "You will change your mind" or "your husband will want kids" and to all those others who told me that I would change my mind, or die alone and sad (as if people WITH kids don't die alone and sad), or that I am selfish (that's rich!) for not having or wanting kids:  BITE ME.

I did NOT change my mind.  I didn't spawn and I'm glad.  I love it.  It's my favorite thing.

Those doctors sentenced me to 23 years of birth control pills and condoms.  I always use a minimum of 2 birth control methods.  No mistakes.  No accidents.  I spent thousands of dollars and untold hours to avoid pregnancy and unwanted children.  As if the world needed more unwanted children.  The world does not need any more children. 

What made those doctors think that I would marry a guy who wanted kids? And that it would be MY JOB to have them just because some asshole wanted some?  There are plenty of breeders out there for those guys.

What made those doctors assume I would get married?  To a guy?  I didn't.  And I'm fine.  Quite happy.

As for dying alone and sad; well, I suppose I COULD die happy in a a group but that's pretty rare.  Most people are the only one in the room croaking at any given time and very few are happy about it.
I know many people who did have kids.  Most of those kids don't want their mother or father dying in the living room in a hospital bed full of feces and urine.  Most of those kids moved on and are trying to lead their own lives (selfish little bastards...if one follows the above logic anyway).

How selfish is it to have children in order to avoid your own fear of death?  More selfish than me NOT having children and just dealing with the idea that some day, I'm going to die and that at some point before that, I will probably crap my pants and have no one at the ready happy to wash me down?  According to my accusers, I should have had a kid and made it super dependent so it would stand me up in the shower and hose me off  (Mom:  I will totally hose you off if you need it because I know that is NOT the reason you had me.  You were young and stupid, that's why you had me).

One woman in particular who accused me of being selfish and of changing my mind later (mind you, I was WELL into my 40s at the time so that ship had seriously sailed) had gone to great lengths and tens of thousands of dollars in infertility treatments and adoption procedures in order to make her family.  Good for her.  She invested in getting what she wanted:  children.  She did not see that as selfish but me NOT bringing unwanted children into the world, she does see that as selfish.  To her I say:  BITE ME. 

To the fish and other beings poisoned by the decades I spent peeing out excessive estrogen from the birth control pills:  I am sorry.  I did consider this when going on the pill.  The other option was destroying you through bringing kids, who may have produced ever more generations of children to decimate the limited resources of our planet and kill you that way.  If I'd been given the tubal ligation when I asked for it in my 20s, I would have saved enough to retire on and saved the planet. 

Instead I was patronized and told that I would change my mind and it wasn't reversible and on and on and on.  Even at Planned Parenthood where they were happy to prescribe the pills or an IUD or jam tubes of estrogen in my arm.  Anything but tying the tubs.  To them I say: BITE ME.  BITE ME. BITE ME.   

BITE ME.

I declare today, the day before mother's day to be
"Happy People Who Did Not Overpopulate the Planet Day"

A series of cheesy/sappy cards will be coming out soon.
Appropriate gifts include anything but a giant vase of dead flowers.